Who’s Your Daddy?
Man, it’s been a while since I’ve made a blog post, hasn’t it?
I see my website as your father (just go with me on this) and you, the readers, are my children. Now the comic, that’s the basic necessities of life (food, clothing, shelter). The comic is what I need to supply you with lest child protective services drag me off to jail.
The blog on the other hand represents my love and affection for you. And in that respect, I have failed. Not quite the deadbeat father, I’m more like the single dad you see at the beginning of the movie who’s too busy for his kid’s little league game.
Well no more, dammit! Daddy’s gonna cancel that meeting in Hong Kong, even though it’s a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for a big promotion that might get us out of our crappy, little apartment and into that dream house that you and your brothers and sisters have been dreaming about. I started walking out the door with my luggage when I glanced down and saw your baseball glove by the front door. Then, with the sad piano playing in the background, I looked at myself in the mirror by the door while the camera slowly pushes in on my reflection. “Will he make the right decision?” you ask yourself, Kleenex at the ready as your eyes swell with tears. Then, a resigning smile washes over my face as I drop the luggage to the floor and pick up your glove. I grab my glove, blowing dust off it as I do, and a baseball as well. I enter your bedroom where I find you looking at an old framed picture of you and I and your mother (the photo taken just days before she was eaten alive by sea turtles). “How about a game of catch, tiger?” I say. You jump off the bed, realizing that I’m staying home; the entire orchestra now joins the sad piano music and swells to accentuate the moment. Women in the audience lean their heads on their date’s shoulders. Men in the audience roll their eyes.
Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that I’m going to try to be more active here on the site and will hopefully crank out a blog post a week – whether I have something to say or not. Obviously, I have no problem writing stuff even though I have nothing to say.