Best Laid Plans of God and Men by Adam | Nov 8, 2012 | 50 comments Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window)Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)Click to share on Google+ (Opens in new window)Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window)Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) 50 Comments Rhea on November 8, 2012 at 12:12 am Every time something is described as “an act of God”, I think their god must have a weird sense of humor or very bad aim. And if the saved kid in the plane crash is a miracle, how about the crash itself and the 120 other people killed? Doesn’t he get the blame for that? Reply ecky on November 8, 2012 at 3:12 am I see God as a sadistic pervert. Reply Armoless on November 8, 2012 at 3:37 am People are dumb. This strip is funny! Reply Waldir on November 8, 2012 at 4:17 am Yay, God strips are back! Now this strip deserves a part II, because the people that say “it was part of God’s misterious plan” and then blame humankind when bad things happen are the same that give 100% credit to God whenever something good happens. :-/ Reply tymime on November 8, 2012 at 5:06 am Well, the thing is that we Gentiles think God is still the Old Testament God for some reason. All those times when He struck us down over and over would leave that impression. Nowadays we can’t say for sure what disaster is God’s idea- we’re just flattering ourselves. Reply Dave Dell on November 8, 2012 at 5:16 am I love the strips featuring the Bug incarnation of the bronze age god of battles from Hebrew mythology. However, my hat goes off to Adam when I see angel bug with wings and an editor/writer bug with a tie and suspenders. Oh, and the raised eyebrows. Panel four is a gem. Reply majdan on November 8, 2012 at 8:34 am Wow. I missed the eyebrows until I read this comment and went back for a second look. I need more coffee. Terrific strip as usual, Adam! Reply the_mattness on November 8, 2012 at 6:15 am Amazing once again, Adam. I love the bug God. 😀 Reply Ol' Gui on November 9, 2012 at 11:23 am God bug is quite a character, I like. Reply Ol' Gui on November 15, 2012 at 10:46 pm I’m going to break my piggy bank and get a print of this one. The original is just beyond my budget. Reply gsekse on November 8, 2012 at 6:36 am Laughed at all four panels! This one is a gem! Reply Karine1976 on November 8, 2012 at 7:31 am If even a jerk like nerbug says you’re harsh, then maybe it’s time to take it back a notch LOL. “Sh*t happens” should be the caveat for everything in life. Reply Chatokun on November 8, 2012 at 8:36 am Heh, technically, that is already in the bible: Ecc 9:11: “I returned to see under the sun that the swift do not have the race, nor the mighty ones the battle, nor do the wise also have the food, nor do the understanding ones also have the riches, nor do even those having knowledge have the favor; because time and unforeseen occurrence befall them all.” Reply Adam on November 8, 2012 at 11:55 am Yeah, but it’s not quite as concise. Reply Kai Gon on November 9, 2012 at 10:01 am No, it’s in biblical font AND paraphrase. Reply Ol' Gui on November 9, 2012 at 11:26 am Concise is always good. One does need some authoritry to back up opinions though. Good comic, one of my favorites. Reply gsekse on November 9, 2012 at 10:45 am I find the idea that the 9:11 (911) is the “sh*t happens” clause of the bible, rather ironic. Reply Ol' Gui on November 8, 2012 at 8:43 am Okay, so when things go bad it’s an act of God and when things go good it’s Mother Nature doing her shtick? God is just but we are the ones that are unjust. His ways are not our ways nor can we understand all that it involves. Having said that, this strip is funny when we stop and consider it. Sh*t does happen. Our decisions do have consequences. Biblical font makes it all religious – now that it funny. Reply BlueRoseLeader on November 8, 2012 at 10:08 am Ya’ll remember when God said that He would never flood the earth again? That didn’t mean He wouldn’t pass judgment by oh say a toilet seat from space (Dead Like Me) Reply LanceThruster on November 8, 2012 at 10:27 am Though I am godless myself, I think Twain said it best… “If there is a God, he is a malign thug.” I would however, update it to say “she/he/it/they” instead of “he” as I do not concede the gender of “God” as male. A cable comic once quipped, “Sure I believe in God, it’s just that my God is a capricious pr!ck.” Reply Ol' Gui on November 9, 2012 at 11:14 am The book of Ezekiel gives us insight into why God does what He does. God restrains His wrath until we push His buttons way too much. Nothing capricious about Him. He tells us what to expect, over and over so we can’t miss the message, and then lets us make our free choice and lets us relish the consequences of our actions. Good choice = good consequence. Bad choice = not good consequence. Reply LanceThruster on November 10, 2012 at 7:24 pm If God is the source of all things, then God is also the source of evil. If our mortal existence is merely the final exam for eternity (does God grade on the curve?), then why can’t the need for freewill be met without having quite the propensity to engage in such acts of brutality against each other and truly innocent living things of other species? She/He/It/They could have ratcheted it down a bit, no? After all, we’re not born with organic death laser cannons attached to our freaking skulls. It could have been more like, steal someone’s parking spot at the mall during the holiday shopping season…go to hell. If I created a dog out of the dust on the ground, but then it bit you, who would you blame…me, or the dog? Reply LanceThruster on November 10, 2012 at 8:26 pm God restrains His wrath until we push His buttons way too much. Nothing capricious about Him. I don’t think you could be more wrong in this regard. I wouldn’t call how God deals with his anger issues as even remotely “restrained.” It appears He felt there was a problem with an earlier product from the factory and instead of addressing this through the manufacturing process directly, His buttons were so pushed that drowning babies, puppies, and kittens (to name just a few of the victims) seemed a reasonable fix, and that the new “purified” 2.0 brand would return the product the greatness. Funny thing is that the product performance remains highly variable in the extreme, even though the source stock had firsthand intimate knowledge in a very concrete way just how essential the manufacturer considered Quality Assurance and adhering to the owner’s manual (though in fairness, its release came long, long after the original product’s did and the junior manager sent to provide the updated version was himself retired before the finalized? version hit the street – an efficiency expert might have some suggestions on synching the knowledge base supply chain to be most advantages for brand identity and a more confident product maintenance bolstered by a clear and uniform product manual whose official authorization is verified and uncontested) In fact, the one tasked with emergency transport, disaster recovery, and the subsequent replenishment of the post total recall version (a handpicked prized breeding stock selected for their contamination resistant characteristics) responded by getting stone cold drunk the first chance he got (which turned out to cause its own set of problems with the brand). This does not sound like someone with a lot of faith in the non-capriciousness of upper management. And maybe I’m just old fashioned in my values, but drowning puppies and kittens in a fit of pique (even if it could be argued that the actions had a beneficial long term effect overall), particularly since there was never any indication, implied or otherwise, that the little baby puppies and kittens bore any responsibly WHATSOEVER for the perceived need for such a dramatic (and might I add wasteful?) product reboot, that the murderous and unspeakably cruel act could ever be termed merely as “capricious.” The term “certifiable” comes to mind though I’m at a loss for how one might have the perpetrator committed for observation to dissuade Him from any further outbreaks of such an extreme and unjustifiable management style. Just because you own the company does not mean that underlings can be treated with such callous and reckless disdain to the point that all too often the innocent get caught up in the fallout. Might I respectfully suggest that an examination of the finer points of product liability as well the inadvisability of creating such toxic workplace conditions is in order. They shouldn’t oughtta have pushed my Divine buttons is not much of a defense IMHO. Yep…malign thug. Reply Ol' Gui on November 13, 2012 at 9:37 am Wow, straight to calling God a murderer of puppies and kittens. Plus loading your arguement with judgemental words. I sure hope I never have you on a jury judging me on a parking ticket. Since you’re godless, I assume that you believe that we are just a result of random chemical processes and accidental DNA groupings. Therefore, kicking kittens in the head is no more than feeding a hunger baby girl or spitting into the sea. Everything just happens. If that is the case, then …………..? Reply LanceThruster on November 15, 2012 at 4:33 pm We’re talking the hypotheticals of a worldwide flood that drowned everything not on the Ark. God sent the relentless rain that drowned the planet and the innocent creatures whose lungs filled with water as they gasped for air. Of these tragically drowned creatures, some of them were indeed puppies ad kittens (and babies because not all humans were spared, and some families must have had babies). Your God according the the revealed knowledge provided by your God was responsible for this. I am godless but have no plan to kick kittens in the head. You state that if there is no God, I cannot make an argument against kicking kittens in the head. Some theists argue that without God, everything is permitted. Therefore, God is necessary to keep some people from kicking kittens in the head. Ethics is a product of the human mind. I am more comfortable with the notion of situational ethics than seeing horribly brutal behavior defended as ethical (i.e. if God does it, by definition it’s good). I do not have to have all the answers to reject those answers that seem to me both irrational and unsupported by any credible evidence. Tell your God to start growing back some amputated limbs and not just the claims of miraculous cancer cures. Then I’ll reexamine my views. VaguelyCreepy on June 5, 2013 at 2:29 am Does the Geneva Convention cover torturing metaphors? Impressively extensive analogy there, partner. Reply Kotsuso on November 8, 2012 at 11:10 am Makes me think of The Invention of Lying. “So the man in the sky is good, but he’s also kind of a prick.” Love the dumbfounded look of the editor in the last panel too XD Reply Fiaro on November 8, 2012 at 12:32 pm Loving publisher bug. Reply Codric on November 8, 2012 at 12:54 pm Reminds me of an article of the NYTimes. http://www.nytimes.com/2012/10/28/opinion/sunday/friedman-why-i-am-pro-life.html Richard Mourdock is against abortion because §life is that gift from God. And even when life begins in that horrible situation of rape, that it is something that God intended to happen.” Yeah. And when I rob a bank or kill someone, I want to be pronounced not guilty, because it was something that God intended to happen. Reply khade on November 8, 2012 at 7:41 pm Shouldn’t the title be “Best Laid Plans of God and Bugs?” Reply Some guy on November 9, 2012 at 5:20 am Reminds me of a famous quote (From Epicurus, but you’re never sure with quotes on the internet)) “Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?” Reply Ol' Gui on November 9, 2012 at 11:22 am Darkness is the absence of light. Evil is the absence of the presence of God. We are responsible for which nature we nurture within us. God is willing and able if we let him, one person at a time. He doesn’t want robots but relationships. Just something to consider. Reply LanceThruster on November 10, 2012 at 8:46 pm We are responsible for which nature we nurture within us. . Bollocks! Some people literally have “broken brains.” The limits of freewill in such cases is greatly diminished if not entirely negated by the brain’s inability to process in a dependable and predictable manner due to a hardware fault) The ONLY mitigating circumstance applicable to get God off the hook for such gross negligence and unbelievable incompetence would be God’s non-existence. Otherwise, guilty as charged in addition to heightened penalties for “special circumstances.” (i.e. with such supposedly unlimited power and resources…he shoulda known better…and that simple fact makes it all the more tragic and indefensible) Reply Doc on November 15, 2012 at 1:58 pm Actually, non-action is the absence of both good and evil, so your analogy, no matter how many times it has been repeated by apologists, does not fit. Reply LanceThruster on November 12, 2012 at 10:01 am Yeah Some guy. Some of the best quotes are apocryphal but it seems rather pedantic to qualify every bon mot tossed out there on the interwebs. I forget, how did people learn just how wrong they were about things before the Great Gazoogle? I like this one which is also said to be apocryphal. Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones. Reply Gz on November 11, 2012 at 7:02 am Everything is part of God’s plan. The sweet as a test of gratefulness, the bitter as a test of patience. Reply LanceThruster on November 12, 2012 at 9:54 am So we’re some lonely mad scientist’s lab rats? It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again. Reply Ol' Gui on November 14, 2012 at 9:25 am There is a reason why there is an Old Testament and a New Testament. The old one exposed man’s rebellion against God and recorded the whys and therefores and consequences of man’s actions. The New explains why Sin ( rebellion ) had to be judged and passed and how God paid the price that we could never pay. Jesus is the one who paid that price and satisfied the sentence passed on mankind. Set your bitterness aside and just read what Jesus said and not what people say he said. Reply LanceThruster on November 14, 2012 at 10:49 am If the Noatic flood is really true, then the God of the bible drowned pupppies, babies, and kittens for pretty much no other reason than God can (oh, and to get humanity to straighten up and fly right). Out of respect to Adam, I should probably keep it light, though I do not object to any to any discussion of theology. The reason I reject the gospel is because I’ve read it (was raised RCC). I summarize xian salvation as, “God sent God to die for God so God could forgive God’s creations according to God’s unbending rules.” Too Rube Goldberg for me. If God’s plan was for us to know of God and God’s message to humanity, then God has failed miserably. Technical writers say if the instructions are not understood, it’s the writers fault not the readers. I’m content with my atheism, try to live a good life, and will take my lumps if it turns out I’m wrong. God can make it up to all those people (particularly children) whose existence was largely pain and suffering of varied intensities. When humans suffer, it’s the real deal. Jesus knew he was God, so that the suffering in human form was done with the knowledge that there was more to come and that He was largely “going through the motions.” Humans, despite claims to the contrary have no such certainty. I put it this way, “Jesus had a bad weekend for your sins.” Reply Ol' Gui on November 14, 2012 at 6:46 pm You must have experienced some great hurts in your life. I don’t know what RCC means and it doesn’t really matter, you have come to a decision about God and I can respect that. My relationship with him changed my life and I am thankful for that and admire that you are willing to take your lumps if your wrong. If I’m wrong then I will have lived a life that helped others and enjoyed them as friends. Life is good although it gets rocky at times. Live well. Doc on November 15, 2012 at 2:01 pm (replying to Ol’ Gui) You get thoroughly shown the flaws in your arguments, and instead of refuting them, you just respond with “you must have experienced hurt in your life.” Sadly typical. And this: “admire that you are willing to take your lumps if your wrong. ” What if you’re wrong, and Allah is the real god? Or Zeus? Do you not fear punishment from them? Then why should I fear punishment from your god? LanceThruster on November 15, 2012 at 4:17 pm RCC = Roman Catholic Church. I’ve had a pretty good life despite the painful experiences most everyone deals with. I’m not talking about I’ll green light God if I’m happy and reject him if I’m not. I’m talking about the insane, crappy, horrific, brutal stuff that happens all the time, since the beginning of time to others. According to theists…God..their God, created a world where children (to use but one example), can be raped, murdered, tortured, starved, be unloved or uncared for by the parents, suffer incredibly obscene maladies through chance or any number of causes through no fault of their own other than the primative concept of “original sin,” but somehow I’m the callous one for having a problem with that. I *hope* there’s some sort of supernatural universal Mulligan that will make it up to them and bring justice and contentment where before there was none. But I’ll act as if there is no one waiting in the wings to redress these greivences and do what I can as a human being with limit means to do what I can with what I have where I am. If it is to be, it is up to me. I have my own speech ready to give to God when I die for where He went wrong, but I don’t expect to get the chance. I can’t imagine anything I could be told about why some horrific thing occurred (choose one, there are a near unlimted number to choose from – I use Samantha Runnion…look her up), even by God himself, that would have me responding with, “Oh, now I see. I guess it was a good thing that she was kidnapped, tortured, raped, murdered, by a guy who asked her to help look for a lost puppy.” The life she never had, no graduating, first kiss, kids of her own…the trauma her suffering mother experienced and the pain that would never ever go away. To say that some magic being would wipe away the emotional scarring enough that one came to accept that reality…if I ever came to the conclusion that that was actually necessary and not such a big deal in the grand scheme of things, then I do not recognize that person as me because I could never accept that that had to happen for someone’s “Master Plan.” That is the blueprint of a sociopath and psychotic, and by my flawed standards, wholly unworthy of worship. Ol' Gui on November 15, 2012 at 10:22 pm What’s up Doc? I don’t think you have reviewed what I proposed as reasons to believe. You are willing to judge me a fool and I accept your opinion as an opinion. This is leading nowhere as we are entrenched in our beliefs and nothing more can come from volleying back and forth. I believe in Jesus and you don’t believe there is a God. ’nuff said. Reply LanceThruster on November 16, 2012 at 10:25 am So thoughtful individuals, rather than coming to agreement on the veracity of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, instead wrangle over conflicting strengths and weaknesses of the opposing arguments with all the certainty of which wireless calling plan is a better deal. Like I said, this does not speak well for God’s supposed infinite wisdom. “Theologian: An uncommon individual who, though possessing finite abilities, has been called by God himself who, though possessing infinite abilities, requires the assistance of the former in explaining Himself to the rest of us.” [Translation: if God existed, theologians would be out of work.] ~ “Rev” Donald Morgan Reply r0b3rt on December 2, 2012 at 2:54 pm Do you seriously have nothing better to do? Reply MrSnow on November 21, 2012 at 12:45 pm man. u really got people talkin on today’s strip adam Reply Ol' Gui on November 26, 2012 at 1:16 pm Yippee, word on the street is that I will be getting my own copy of this strip in the mail soon. I can hardly wait. I will be able to look on the wall and enjoy it everyday. Reply VaguelyCreepy on June 5, 2013 at 2:44 am Angry, angry, angry, all around… Scott Adams, the guy who draws Dilbert, once conjectured that God is a practical jokester. Sometimes I wonder if maybe there is a heaven, and it’s how God rewards humans for being good sports and putting up with all of the pranks. The only way to get disqualified would be to totally lose your shiznit and go all Jason Voorhies on everyone around you. This, by the way, is nothing more than an idle musing, and is in no way meant to be taken seriously. Please refrain from discussing it. Reply Some_Guy on February 3, 2014 at 2:00 pm There actually is a bible verse that’s the equivalent of s**t happens. Ecclesiastes 9:11 Reply Cactus Defender on December 11, 2015 at 11:30 pm Ever read the book of Job? Reply Trackbacks/Pingbacks Your comic for the day | House of the Dread - [...] be a little annoyed, especially on the stuff related to Climate Change. Share this:Like this:LikeBe the first to like… Submit a Comment Cancel reply Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *Comment Name * Email * Website Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Notify me of new posts by email.