Indeed, I too enjoy how land is all like “hey, man. ain’t no thang.” and woah boobies in strawberry fields?!? The life of a cartoonist sounds INCREDIBLE!
Speaking of which, Adam have you hit the big times yet? Since the world didn’t end, then any day now will be your day!
The big times are a ways off.
Isn’t that what pillaging is for? So pirates can get girls?
Well, the term ‘Booty’ comes from somewhere, amirite?
On a not so savoury note:
Pirates like to bury their ‘booty’ and make maps so others can find it.
“Pillaging” is robbing using violence. I believe the word you are looking for is “raping”.
I’m obviously including every accompanying activity that pillaging entails.
Land ain’t that mellow either. Sometimes it seems to suddenly jump and hit you in the face very hard!
And there are invisible curbs all over the place specifically to trip you and make you look stupid.
I ended up reading the pirate in Adam Savage’s “Arrr, ye mateys” voice.
It’s been a minute since I rolled in a strawberry field with my gal or her big boobs!
OR her big boobs? As in, independent from the rest of her? Dang, those ARE big.
Nobody in their right mind would’ve dreamed of becoming a pirate by choice. People only became pirates because they couldn’t fit in anywhere else in society. Being a pirate was less “freedom and adventure” and more “living in a leaky, smelly ship for months at a time and being under contract with a monarchy to give the majority of your plunder to them.”
Or the exciting alternatives – being brutally executed by said monarchy due to having a similar contract with another monarchy! Or death by Scurvy die to lack of Vitamins! Or dying of an wound from cannon-fire, storms, bullets, sword wounds…
You can’t deny it was one big adventure. One risky, tedious adventure. Yep, it’s the merchant life for me too.
Your confusing pirate with privateer. Privateers were what we might today call “private military contractors.” During the phase over from purely private to national navies, Monarchs granted “Letters of Mark and Reprisal” to private individuals granting them the right to seize the property of subject of other monarchs in times of war. Privateers were not criminals but lawful soldiers operating under political control and could not be executed for their activities.
Pirates had no controlling political authority and operated only for themselves. Although many times they were covert operatives for various states. Technically, they were criminals subject to even summary execution.
The “Golden Age of Piracy” occurred after a protracted war between, well everybody in Western Europe, in which privateers played a major role. When the war ended, there were large numbers of ships and crews who had spent their lives doing nothing but commerce raiding. Not all of them decided to retire when the war ended.
Pirates spent most of their time on land near choke points in the sea lanes. They would sally out in relatively small ships or boats only when a vessel was spotted. The most profitable pirate operations in history were actually land attacks, often landings followed by extend overland marchers, to seize entire ports.
The common perception of pirates, like the common perception of cowboys and the “Wild West” is a literary invention that has little to do with reality.
Crimson Permanent Assurance covers both bases quite nicely *and* has the excitement of chartered accountancy!
I dropped a fish on my foot.
Get the best of both worlds: Merchant Marine!
Merchant Marine includes booty AND boobs? I went into the wrong line of work.
Dat fiesty ol’ pirate seems to have his zeal by the fourth panel. If there were a fifth panel I think he would be reconsidering his choices. Looks like a wanabe pirate, glasses and no eye patch, all limbs accounted for, no visible scars, all show and no go. Well, gotta’ go now and check on the de ol’ anchor now, where be da rum now?
hmmmm, looks to me that there be a lost ” lost” word in dat sentence above.
Oh my goodness I love Merchant Bug’s little vest.
At least if you were a pirate you wouldn’t get shanghaied . . . better than working on a legal ship too, you’d actually get some of the money.
Ozy and Millie mused on this once. They came to the conclusion that we romanticize less-favorable time periods and lifestyles because they had cool hats.
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