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It’s the Merchant Life for Me

It’s the Merchant Life for Me

by Adam on January 7, 2013 at 12:00 am
Chapter: comics
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Discussion (27) ¬

  1. blincoe
    blincoe
    January 7, 2013, 1:14 am | # | Reply

    Indeed, I too enjoy how land is all like “hey, man. ain’t no thang.” and woah boobies in strawberry fields?!? The life of a cartoonist sounds INCREDIBLE!

  2. blincoe
    blincoe
    January 7, 2013, 1:16 am | # | Reply

    Speaking of which, Adam have you hit the big times yet? Since the world didn’t end, then any day now will be your day!

    • Adam
      Adam
      January 7, 2013, 12:39 pm | # | Reply

      The big times are a ways off.

  3. tymime
    tymime
    January 7, 2013, 4:02 am | # | Reply

    Isn’t that what pillaging is for? So pirates can get girls?

    • Thorbjørn
      Thorbjørn
      January 7, 2013, 4:06 am | # | Reply

      Well, the term ‘Booty’ comes from somewhere, amirite?

      On a not so savoury note:
      Pirates like to bury their ‘booty’ and make maps so others can find it.

    • qka
      qka
      January 8, 2013, 12:33 am | # | Reply

      “Pillaging” is robbing using violence. I believe the word you are looking for is “raping”.

      • tymime
        tymime
        January 9, 2013, 6:39 am | # | Reply

        I’m obviously including every accompanying activity that pillaging entails.

  4. ohlz
    ohlz
    January 7, 2013, 4:51 am | # | Reply

    hehe, boobs

  5. ADHadh
    ADHadh
    January 7, 2013, 6:25 am | # | Reply

    Land ain’t that mellow either. Sometimes it seems to suddenly jump and hit you in the face very hard!

    • Maoman
      Maoman
      January 7, 2013, 9:53 am | # | Reply

      And there are invisible curbs all over the place specifically to trip you and make you look stupid.

  6. Gene
    Gene
    January 7, 2013, 10:59 am | # | Reply

    I ended up reading the pirate in Adam Savage’s “Arrr, ye mateys” voice.

    • Talia Bostian
      Talia Bostian
      January 7, 2013, 9:27 pm | # | Reply

      Like

  7. Armoless
    Armoless
    January 7, 2013, 11:21 am | # | Reply

    It’s been a minute since I rolled in a strawberry field with my gal or her big boobs!

    • VaguelyCreepy
      VaguelyCreepy
      June 5, 2013, 2:16 pm | # | Reply

      OR her big boobs? As in, independent from the rest of her? Dang, those ARE big.

  8. TB Tabby
    TB Tabby
    January 7, 2013, 11:56 am | # | Reply

    Nobody in their right mind would’ve dreamed of becoming a pirate by choice. People only became pirates because they couldn’t fit in anywhere else in society. Being a pirate was less “freedom and adventure” and more “living in a leaky, smelly ship for months at a time and being under contract with a monarchy to give the majority of your plunder to them.”

    • Jerden
      Jerden
      January 7, 2013, 12:44 pm | # | Reply

      Or the exciting alternatives – being brutally executed by said monarchy due to having a similar contract with another monarchy! Or death by Scurvy die to lack of Vitamins! Or dying of an wound from cannon-fire, storms, bullets, sword wounds…
      You can’t deny it was one big adventure. One risky, tedious adventure. Yep, it’s the merchant life for me too.

    • Shannon Love
      Shannon Love
      April 21, 2013, 12:55 am | # | Reply

      Your confusing pirate with privateer. Privateers were what we might today call “private military contractors.” During the phase over from purely private to national navies, Monarchs granted “Letters of Mark and Reprisal” to private individuals granting them the right to seize the property of subject of other monarchs in times of war. Privateers were not criminals but lawful soldiers operating under political control and could not be executed for their activities.

      Pirates had no controlling political authority and operated only for themselves. Although many times they were covert operatives for various states. Technically, they were criminals subject to even summary execution.

      The “Golden Age of Piracy” occurred after a protracted war between, well everybody in Western Europe, in which privateers played a major role. When the war ended, there were large numbers of ships and crews who had spent their lives doing nothing but commerce raiding. Not all of them decided to retire when the war ended.

      Pirates spent most of their time on land near choke points in the sea lanes. They would sally out in relatively small ships or boats only when a vessel was spotted. The most profitable pirate operations in history were actually land attacks, often landings followed by extend overland marchers, to seize entire ports.

      The common perception of pirates, like the common perception of cowboys and the “Wild West” is a literary invention that has little to do with reality.

  9. LanceThruster
    LanceThruster
    January 7, 2013, 1:09 pm | # | Reply

    Crimson Permanent Assurance covers both bases quite nicely *and* has the excitement of chartered accountancy!

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Crimson_Permanent_Assurance

  10. Rena
    Rena
    January 7, 2013, 3:38 pm | # | Reply

    I dropped a fish on my foot.

  11. Thorgold
    Thorgold
    January 7, 2013, 5:26 pm | # | Reply

    Get the best of both worlds: Merchant Marine!

    • Col Klink
      Col Klink
      April 6, 2013, 8:26 pm | # | Reply

      Merchant Marine includes booty AND boobs? I went into the wrong line of work.

  12. Ol' Gui
    Ol' Gui
    January 7, 2013, 6:52 pm | # | Reply

    Dat fiesty ol’ pirate seems to have his zeal by the fourth panel. If there were a fifth panel I think he would be reconsidering his choices. Looks like a wanabe pirate, glasses and no eye patch, all limbs accounted for, no visible scars, all show and no go. Well, gotta’ go now and check on the de ol’ anchor now, where be da rum now?

  13. Ol' Gui
    Ol' Gui
    January 7, 2013, 6:54 pm | # | Reply

    hmmmm, looks to me that there be a lost ” lost” word in dat sentence above.

  14. paul
    paul
    January 8, 2013, 8:28 am | # | Reply

    Oh my goodness I love Merchant Bug’s little vest.

  15. GuesssWho
    GuesssWho
    February 16, 2013, 1:53 am | # | Reply

    At least if you were a pirate you wouldn’t get shanghaied . . . better than working on a legal ship too, you’d actually get some of the money.

  16. VaguelyCreepy
    VaguelyCreepy
    June 5, 2013, 2:20 pm | # | Reply

    Ozy and Millie mused on this once. They came to the conclusion that we romanticize less-favorable time periods and lifestyles because they had cool hats.

  17. Zimriel
    Zimriel
    May 21, 2017, 10:37 pm | # | Reply

    We’ll always have the rum and sodomy.

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