I actually did open up a can of Whoop-Ass once. It was an energy drink and tasted like vitamins crushed into Mountain Dew. With that name I at leasted expected it to taste like No-Doz crushed into Jolt.
Oh my gosh, you know what Jolt is! That’s the first time I’ve seen it mentioned on the internet or outside my hometown. o.o
*ahem* On a more generally-directed, related-to-the-strip note, love the shop setting applied to the topic. It’s perfect. I can hear the ironic happy, plinky music as I read. Also “tantrum berries” is an awesome phrase.
Sure, JOLT Cola. Twice the sugar, at least twice the caffeine. Marketed to those folks who don’t drink coffee in the morning. A friend of mine (he’s dead now) used to start his day with two cigarettes and a 16 oz bottle of Coke. He switched to JOLT when it came on the market.
Jolt arguable played a role second only to coffee in taking the internet big time back in the 90s. Every programmer’s desk used to have a 2 liter bottle just setting there like water bottle.
Frankly, I think it was popular because rising to to urinate every hour after downing liters of the stuff was the only exercise we got for days on end.
I knew SOMEone had to know what it was. But I live where Jolt was created, and outside the Rochester area, I just haven’t heard it mentioned. I got excited. = P Also I’m not a programmer, so I wouldn’t know about that last one.
BugFanNo1million: There’s a place that still sells it?? Is there one in NY? o.o
I tried that energy drink too. All I can say is “Pffft!”. Afterwards, my sister bought me a can of Whoop-Ass Chili Mix. I’m afraid to open it. I live in the Wuss section as well, Adam. I’m comfortable there. They know me.
“Sometimes you wanna go…where everybody knows your na-a-ame!”
Used to study for finals in college with diet Jolt… 2x the caffeine and none of the sugar. I can still remember the weird tongue coating taste it left in my mouth;p I’m so passive/aggressive that blowing raspberries at strangers in a store aisle feels downright confrontational and scary!
Even assuming you could find whoop-ass in the wuss section, I’d never be able to justify buying a can. You don’t want to have leftovers of something you’re SUPPOSED to serve immediately.
Gold. Pure gold.
I actually did open up a can of Whoop-Ass once. It was an energy drink and tasted like vitamins crushed into Mountain Dew. With that name I at leasted expected it to taste like No-Doz crushed into Jolt.
Oh my gosh, you know what Jolt is! That’s the first time I’ve seen it mentioned on the internet or outside my hometown. o.o
*ahem* On a more generally-directed, related-to-the-strip note, love the shop setting applied to the topic. It’s perfect. I can hear the ironic happy, plinky music as I read. Also “tantrum berries” is an awesome phrase.
Sure, JOLT Cola. Twice the sugar, at least twice the caffeine. Marketed to those folks who don’t drink coffee in the morning. A friend of mine (he’s dead now) used to start his day with two cigarettes and a 16 oz bottle of Coke. He switched to JOLT when it came on the market.
The original slogan was “ALL the sugar and Twice the caffeine!”
All the sugar, as in they used sugar, not corn sweetener.
Twice the caffeine brought the caffeine up to where Coke and Pepsi used to be, but in recent decades they have slowly but surely been reducing it.
Lots of people know what Jolt Cola is. I remember when it first came out. Here’s a Wikipedia article on it: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jolt_Cola
Runnings (farm store chain) sells Jolt cola
Jolt arguable played a role second only to coffee in taking the internet big time back in the 90s. Every programmer’s desk used to have a 2 liter bottle just setting there like water bottle.
Frankly, I think it was popular because rising to to urinate every hour after downing liters of the stuff was the only exercise we got for days on end.
I knew SOMEone had to know what it was. But I live where Jolt was created, and outside the Rochester area, I just haven’t heard it mentioned. I got excited. = P Also I’m not a programmer, so I wouldn’t know about that last one.
BugFanNo1million: There’s a place that still sells it?? Is there one in NY? o.o
I tried that energy drink too. All I can say is “Pffft!”. Afterwards, my sister bought me a can of Whoop-Ass Chili Mix. I’m afraid to open it. I live in the Wuss section as well, Adam. I’m comfortable there. They know me.
“Sometimes you wanna go…where everybody knows your na-a-ame!”
“Hey Mr. Peterson, there’s a cold one waiting for you.”
“I know, if she calls, I’m not here.”
“How’s life treating you today, Norm?” “Like a baby treats a diaper.”
“What’s the story, Norm?”
“Boy meets beer. Boy drinks beer. Boy meets another beer.”
“What’s shakin’, Mr. Peterson?”
“All four cheeks and a couple of chins.”
The kids always pick out the tantrum berries and eat them first, before I even get a chance to have some!
I like to get bottles of sarcasm and cans of false threats.
Oh yeah, I love that sarcasm. It’s just great.
Box of hissy fits HAHAHAHAHA etc.
I am THIS close to making those T-shirts myself.
Sometimes I get my box of hissy fits laced with profane pepper, just to add a little kick.
I once bought a keg of whoop-ass.
…but, I’d forgotten to rent a tap…
Used to study for finals in college with diet Jolt… 2x the caffeine and none of the sugar. I can still remember the weird tongue coating taste it left in my mouth;p I’m so passive/aggressive that blowing raspberries at strangers in a store aisle feels downright confrontational and scary!
That’s where they keep the Extra Mild Salsa. LOL
It’s hard to find good whoop ass locally anymore, especially in the big city. Try a small town Feed&Seed.
I like that he’s complaining about the complaint cereal.
I know what you mean. When I read it I heard it in my head as drawn-out and whiny.
Even assuming you could find whoop-ass in the wuss section, I’d never be able to justify buying a can. You don’t want to have leftovers of something you’re SUPPOSED to serve immediately.