Stupid Baby Name Police by Adam | May 27, 2010 | 71 comments Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window)Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)Click to share on Google+ (Opens in new window)Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window)Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) 71 Comments Blindy on May 26, 2010 at 7:18 pm Wish there was one of those guys for WoW character names too.. Reply Raquel on May 26, 2010 at 8:57 pm couldn't agree with you more. kinda hard to take a raid leader seriously when they have a name like Kittywhiskers. Reply idioticidioms on January 23, 2011 at 1:30 pm Yeah, but imagine how demoralizing it is for the opposite faction to get pwned by someone named kittywhiskers. Reply LadyNightArrow on May 28, 2010 at 2:48 am I agree as well. There have been a number of times I've wanted to tell people to delete their character and give it a more creative, fantasy name. Reply Vanyag on January 2, 2011 at 11:16 pm Well hey, at least you can do the paid name change 😉 On the other hand, I can't stand character names where you have a number of odd symbols, becomes annoying to type out Reply jared the dreamer on February 8, 2011 at 4:37 pm the only odd named character i have is ragezombie based off of one of these comics XD Reply That Guy on March 29, 2011 at 9:33 pm Hey, I like my trade troll named Pedôbear! Reply Captain Scratchy on May 26, 2010 at 8:00 pm LIttle Ferngully looks pretty handy with a gun. I guess he'd have to be, with a name like Ferngully. Reply Haakon on May 26, 2010 at 8:55 pm I found this comic today and it became instantly one of my favourite non-story webcomics, at least as good as channelate or amazingsuperpowers. If there will be any T-shirts in the future, sign me up. And I'll try to advertise this comic, though I annoyed some of my friends(one) to the point where they just give me that "Go die in a fire, seriously"-look. But I wont stop, not until I end up as bloody pulp dripping from the fists of Skinheads who I tried to convince to "just take a look" at this geniously piece of art. Reply Todd on May 27, 2010 at 1:33 am Are these names you've actually heard? Reply Adam on May 27, 2010 at 2:34 am No, but I'm willing to bet there are people out there with those names – though "Vacuum Cleaner" is probably a stretch. Reply Abbie on January 29, 2011 at 12:36 am Don't be too surprised! A baby boy in my country is named 'Cleavage' . Poor boy. Reply The Dukenator on May 27, 2010 at 2:21 am Naming your kid, Dumbass is funny. Of course, when he gets in trouble, you can say, "If you weren't such a dumbass, we wouldn't have named you Dumbass." Kitty is a real girl's name and I've seen a lot of Hello Kitty Online players use that in their user ids. Hell, I'm a guy and I use Kittynator in HKO. Bill Cosby: My brother thought his name was Goddamnit and I was Jesus Christ. So one day, I'm playing out in the rain and my father yells, "Godamnit, get in here." I said to him, "But dad, I'm Jesus Christ." A lot of the odd names I heard were from tv & movies over the years. Reply Bermykid on May 27, 2010 at 2:57 am I've heard of some dumb names, female and male (pronounced fe-mal-eh and mal-eh), also heard of a girl named n-a (n-dash-eh) some really foolish people on this planet in my opinion. As for your comic, I found it some time ago and have been reading it every day and I'd definitely have to say that this is one of my favorites and even to go as far to say that I'd rank it up there with Calvin and Hobbes for pure creativity and entertainment! Reply Adam on May 27, 2010 at 3:07 am Wow! Thanks! Reply Thisfox on July 23, 2016 at 12:04 am Worst weird name I’ve found so far was a young man who was called Hazmat. Although Leaf Greene was a bit hard to believe. I think she’d be one of those kids likely to shoot her parents, yup. Reply matt on September 5, 2010 at 12:04 pm agreed. i love it. Reply Nerd on January 8, 2011 at 7:21 am I also heard of someone named La-A …. Maybe they were sisters… :-/ Reply SteamSaint on May 27, 2010 at 3:02 am Zagnut! Bwa-Hahahahahaha!!! Reply Andrechi on May 27, 2010 at 3:27 am Ben Dover Reply Greg Eales on May 27, 2010 at 3:40 am STUPID BABY NAME POLICE…fantastic idea! haha 😀 Reply The Dukenator on May 27, 2010 at 3:51 am Imagine having Dick for a first and last name. You'll have fun telling people that you're a Dick, even when you're married. Timothy Allen Dick – later changed to Tim Allen. He talks about the issues with his name in his book: Don't Stand Too Close To A Naked Man Some names are not stupid, but confusing when used by both sexes. These names are known as unisex names. Examples: Chris, Shaun, Stacy and others. Reply Jep on May 27, 2010 at 4:53 am I'm honestly getting sick of those names that display a good virtuous meaning, like Hope or Faith or Grace. If your name actually is one of those no offense. Reply ashton giertz on July 10, 2016 at 5:55 pm my name isn’t any of those, and I’m offended that you hate those names. Reply Sharp on May 27, 2010 at 5:48 am "The topic is…names that will get your kids ass kicked" "Ohh, is Kick-my-ass hungry?" Reply dgriff13 on May 27, 2010 at 8:29 am yay, Whose Line? references. ;0) Reply Ric on January 24, 2011 at 6:31 pm "Come here Colin…. " Reply Tony on May 27, 2010 at 5:54 am Nice! I actually recently met a boy named Ultraviolet, no joke! Reply norbi on December 16, 2011 at 3:53 am Hey look it´s Tony Piro! Calamities of Nature, Bug and Edmund Finney’s Quest to Find the Meaning of Life are by far my top three favorite webcomics, some kind of crossover (guest comics e.g.) between those would be totally awesome. Reply WhoShallRemainNamele on May 27, 2010 at 6:53 am I found this comic recently via stumbleupon. I plan on keeping up with it. Awesome strip. :] Reply dhusk on May 27, 2010 at 12:22 pm I once knew a girl named Vrolet, named after where she was conceived. …in the back end of her parents' Chevrolet. 100% true story. Reply jalie on May 27, 2010 at 1:42 pm How about the student named Shithead (shi-theed)? Liberty Bell? Crystal Ball?(All really names!) One of my collegues had a "Lim-angelo', but it was spelled Limejello. Reply Adam on May 27, 2010 at 1:46 pm That's what made this strip hard to do. I knew no matter what names I came up with, real life names would be much more bizarre. Reply Watcher on May 27, 2010 at 5:05 pm Someone came in to get dogtags made. He wanted "I love…" and then the names of his kids. They were "Princess, Gungun, and Jelly". For one, Princess is a rich woman's little dog's name… For two, Gungun is just wierd. For three, I'm guessing their next kid will be named "Peanutbutter"… Reply Watcher on May 27, 2010 at 5:06 pm I work in Military Surplus, you can put whatever you want on a tag! Reply Freya on May 29, 2010 at 5:44 am How are Ms. Chastity, Ms. Immaculate, and Mr. Panty Patel. Seriously. Reply anna on June 2, 2010 at 4:53 am guys, nobody is named male/female, n-a, shithead, lemonjello or what have you. i've heard them multiple places and it's always "friend of a friend" or some such. nobody actually knows any kids with these names, so stop perpetuating racially charged urban legends already (because everyone knows that's what they are); your comments make a funny comic strip very unfunny. Reply Militant Bibliophile on June 6, 2010 at 7:27 am Actually, you're wrong. I've heard WORSE, and the source is my mother in law, neo-natal intensive care nurse and the most honest woman I know. How about Twina and Twinba (Twin A, Twin B), Maparidine, Brook Trout, Breeze and similar awful contributions. Pull the stupid racial goggles off your eyes and appreciate the humor for what it is: folks laughing at the idiocy of the human condition. Seriously, lighten up and quit looking at everything as an excuse to be offended! Reply dcon930 on October 20, 2015 at 8:45 am Do you have a source that they aren’t real names? For example, Shithead (pronounced shu-TEED) was featured in the book Freakonomics. Same with Lemonjello. Reply Sam on June 6, 2010 at 2:20 pm I know parents who let their daughter name her newborn sister. She came up with Zelda Rainbowstar and they went with it. Reply Kathryn on June 11, 2010 at 6:33 am A fellow teacher had students named Abcd (pronounced abesity) and L-a (pronounced ladasha because the dash isn't silent), I have taught Princess, King, Rhein (pronounced rain), Amazing, Virgin, Dre'Nautica, Shamir (but pronounced Shamar) and so many more I have forgotten for the moment. I honestly don't care what you name your child but at least spell it in a way that people will know how to say it. If I were an engineer I would create a machine where you say the name you want and it gives you three or four reasonable spellings to pick from. Reply snow on June 27, 2010 at 5:40 pm There was somebody in my home town that named their kid Sativa (think Cannabis sativa) and another who named their kid Areya Sunshine Anna Rose Hill. Reply Little Fish on July 5, 2010 at 4:44 pm Someone at my high school was named "Seukkyu" which is pronounced "Suck you." We called him Sam. Reply nerdra on October 25, 2010 at 1:38 pm Good call. Reply Joel on September 1, 2010 at 12:44 am I went to school with a kid called "Jedi". As if that wasn't bad enough, his surname was Starbuck. Poor sod. Reply NumberOnett on November 28, 2015 at 11:19 am Teacher during role call: Jedi Starbuck. Jedi: please dont let anyone see me im not here Reply Tatz on September 17, 2010 at 4:54 am haha, the last panel made me laugh so much! Bug is definitely one of the funniest comics ever! â™¥ Reply Shambo on November 22, 2010 at 4:04 am http://www.notwithoutmyhandbag.com/babynames/ Reply Yara on December 29, 2010 at 11:26 am "Rhein (pronounced rain)" For your information: Rhein is a big german river, so maybe the kid is named after it. Reply Shark112 on January 23, 2011 at 11:21 am Would Ezio, Altaira, Mario, Leanardo, Michelangelo, Donatello, Raphael, and Karen be stupid names for a baby? Reply Harpuia on November 6, 2011 at 8:13 am No. Not ever. Really, the turtles, Ezio, a variant of Altair? Nope, those are awesome. Also, the turtles are named after famous renaissance artists, so that’s a bonus. Reply Ric on January 24, 2011 at 6:34 pm worst name ever: Dweezil Zappa (yes he is real for those who don't know). Friggin… I'd die if i was named Dweezil. I also know someone named Kiwi Reply Ape on July 11, 2011 at 1:24 am Yeah – Frank Zappa’s kids. Moon Unit, Dweezil, Ahmet Emuukha Rodan, and Diva Thin Muffin Pigeen. Why you should write down kids names BEFORE you hit the drugs. Reply Laura on January 26, 2011 at 9:37 am I want to be a SBN Policewoman. I have seen Lasagna, Spring Trip, Shithead, Char Lee Cole (yes they named their baby Charcoal), Lemoocher, Lemon, Precious Gift, and countless more where I work Reply MousE on February 2, 2011 at 5:59 am I stumbled across your webcomic, and have been reading it for the last hour. Fantastic! I love it, thank you! Reply Jemma on February 23, 2011 at 1:12 pm So I just read that a guy in Egypt has named his newborn daughter "Facebook", and immediately thought of this strip. Good job I'm halfway through my second read of the archives else I might not have remembered it. http://failblog.org/2011/02/22/epic-fail-photos-p… Reply Lindsey H. on March 1, 2011 at 6:31 am Where the heck was he when Nicolas Cage decided to name his kid "Kal-El"???? Reply Josh on April 16, 2011 at 2:25 pm Biblical names are sometimes good, but stay away from Nimrod (No joke, see Genesis 10:8) Reply Jolty on April 18, 2011 at 8:27 pm My friend and I found out that, in one official list of baby names, there is possibly the stupidest name ever conceived. Abcde (pronounced ah-beh-ca-duh). Reply Shade on May 23, 2011 at 4:39 am i have to say, i find it both sad and hilarious that these people had to put up with stupid parents giving their kids stupid names… but it can’t top some of the ones i heard… was a Cardinal in the church system with a last name of Sin… a urologist by the name of Richard “Dick” Tapper… and many more that i’ve read about. Reply Harpuia on November 6, 2011 at 8:10 am I’m naming my first child “Metatron”. I will insist on this, and even if I am over-ruled, I will only call them that. Reply Ziz on February 8, 2012 at 12:28 pm Wait, what, like the angel with the “cube”? Why…? Reply Faytl on November 29, 2011 at 4:51 pm I actually kind of like the name Ferngully… though the movie could be better. Reply Frezzala on January 8, 2012 at 1:16 pm Am I the only one that thought beyonces new baby ivy blue (or is it blue ivy, I forget) Reply Some Random Loser on January 16, 2012 at 12:56 pm Special baby names: They seem cool until you actually have to live as guy named “Coyote”. Reply TB Tabby on February 1, 2012 at 12:31 am Put out an APB on XKCD! Reply Jak on July 16, 2013 at 9:20 pm Dear Stupid Baby Name Police, You really dropped the ball when it came to Kanye and Kim. Poor kid’s not gunna know which way to turn Reply Izzie on August 27, 2013 at 6:15 pm Realized something… Okay, cops are the first wheel of the law, detectives/FBI agents are the 2nd, love cops are the 3rd…. AND THE SUPID BABY NAME POLICE SHALT BE THE 4th WHEEL! Reply Izzie on August 27, 2013 at 6:16 pm Realized something… Okay, cops are the first wheel of the law, detectives/FBI agents are the 2nd, love cops are the 3rd…. AND THE STUPID BABY NAME POLICE SHALT BE THE 4th WHEEL! Reply Andy on July 27, 2015 at 2:51 pm SBNP would have a LOT of work here in Brazil… Reply Norva on September 19, 2016 at 7:11 pm Anyone who thinks that giving your child a stupid name will automatically doom them to a life of being a loser, has obviously never heard of Dweezil Zappa. Reply Trackbacks/Pingbacks Tweets that mention Bug - Stupid Baby Name Police -- Topsy.com - [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Jan Ferme, DfunkyDrek. DfunkyDrek said: RT @th0r: Stupid Baby Name Police http://is.gd/cqXbF… Submit a Comment Cancel reply Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *Comment Name * Email * Website Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Notify me of new posts by email.