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Fail Mix

Fail Mix

by Adam on April 15, 2015 at 12:00 am
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Discussion (36) ¬

  1. taishiea
    taishiea
    April 15, 2015, 12:53 am | # | Reply

    i can see it being made by guys as a torture test or something you would eat as a dare.

  2. dragon352
    dragon352
    April 15, 2015, 1:16 am | # | Reply

    come on guys… lets come up with a detailed list of items in a “man-salad”

    bacon-flavored bits on bacon strips (with a hint of bacon)
    beer….
    pizza….
    nachos…..

    • dragon352
      dragon352
      April 15, 2015, 1:17 am | # | Reply

      *come on guys… lets come up with a detailed list of items in a “man-salad”
      bacon-flavored bacon bits on bacon strips (with a hint of bacon)
      beer….
      pizza….
      nachos…..*

      • Jon
        Jon
        April 15, 2015, 2:20 am | # | Reply

        +steak

    • WingSpin
      WingSpin
      April 15, 2015, 8:08 am | # | Reply

      peanuts
      goldfish
      m&m’s
      candied bacon
      dried pineapple

    • Ian Osmond
      Ian Osmond
      April 15, 2015, 12:56 pm | # | Reply

      It already exists. It’s called a “taco salad”. Ground beef, nacho cheese, sour cream, salsa, refried beans, hot sauce, all put in a deep-fried bowl.

      • Mahnarch
        Mahnarch
        April 15, 2015, 1:20 pm | # | Reply

        Now I’m hungry, Ian.

  3. Thorbjørn
    Thorbjørn
    April 15, 2015, 1:24 am | # | Reply

    There needs to be a useful prize at the bottom, like a torx bit size 2 or maybe a perfectly shaped stone for stone skipping.

    • Orvan Taurus
      Orvan Taurus
      April 15, 2015, 4:49 am | # | Reply

      I might even settle for the 1970s Cracker Jacks “prizes” that were more than stupid little bits of paper. I think I might still have the little plastic triple-image lens from a box of yore. Might not sound like much now, but it was a neat little ‘special effect’ that didn’t require digital video editing to pull off.

  4. Orvan Taurus
    Orvan Taurus
    April 15, 2015, 4:51 am | # | Reply

    Odd, but I am actually a bit surprised I have NOT seen “baconated” cigarettes. I don’t smoke, but used to work at a so-called convenience store and thus became far too familiar with cigarette brands and designations.

    • Michael Corley
      Michael Corley
      April 15, 2015, 5:43 am | # | Reply

      It’s pretty logical, might as well go all in!

    • Ian Osmond
      Ian Osmond
      April 15, 2015, 12:56 pm | # | Reply

      Or scotch. I know people who dip their cigars into scotch, anyway.

      • Orvan Taurus
        Orvan Taurus
        April 16, 2015, 4:01 am | # | Reply

        Interesting. I’d heard that the pairing was a ‘fine cigar’ with a good brandy.

        • Mahnarch
          Mahnarch
          April 16, 2015, 8:12 am | # | Reply

          “Would you like a smoke and a pancake?”

  5. Pink Floyd
    Pink Floyd
    April 15, 2015, 6:57 am | # | Reply

    Trail Mix…otherwise known as M&M’s with obstacles.

    Not original, I know, but still true.
    P.S. To all trail mixers…please 86 the raisins. They’re only good for one thing, and one thing only…oatmeal cookies.

    • Tim
      Tim
      April 15, 2015, 7:34 am | # | Reply

      The only other thing the raisins are good for is making the nuts kinda of chewy and not crunchy, ick!

    • Ian Osmond
      Ian Osmond
      April 15, 2015, 12:58 pm | # | Reply

      I am going to disagree intensely. I like raisins in lots of things, but oatmeal cookies exist only to disappoint people who are expecting chocolate chip cookies.

      • YourWeirdUncle
        YourWeirdUncle
        April 15, 2015, 5:03 pm | # | Reply

        ^^THIS!^^ Oatmeal raisin cookies are the only cookies I can’t even fake being excited about.

    • Sinsults
      Sinsults
      April 17, 2015, 2:25 am | # | Reply

      Oatmeal cookies and “good” should never be in the same sentence.
      Also, raisins should have remained the grapes they were meant to be, instead of shriveled up sour little…rat turds.

    • NXTangl
      NXTangl
      October 11, 2015, 11:53 am | # | Reply

      I’m going to be the unpopular one here and suggest that trail mix is fine the way it is.

      The trick is, you don’t eat it a bit at a time, you eat it one giant handful of protein, chocolate, and weird squishy things. Individually, they’re only OK; combined, they are a sweet-and-salty heaven in the mouth.

      Oatmeal raisin cookies, otoh, are an ABOMINATION UNTO NUGGAN. Especially since I recently discovered that oatmeal chocolate-chip cookies exist.

  6. Neil
    Neil
    April 15, 2015, 7:49 am | # | Reply

    I Love the title, Adam!

    • Adam
      Adam
      April 15, 2015, 12:11 pm | # | Reply

      Thanks

  7. ArtDrake
    ArtDrake
    April 15, 2015, 10:33 am | # | Reply

    Personally, I’m starting to feel like the guys-are-unhealthy-slobs angle is getting a little tired — the punchline here was kinda just “Health food? It must have been women!”, which is kinda… meh.

    I don’t know that I’d call it explicitly sexist, but it does take advantage of “men are acceptable targets”. Maybe I’m being touchy, but I’ve liked other strips better.

    • Chug
      Chug
      April 15, 2015, 11:06 am | # | Reply

      You’re not the only who thought it.

    • Rhea
      Rhea
      April 15, 2015, 11:53 am | # | Reply

      I don’t know that “Not Enough M&Ms” counts as health food. I wouldn’t mind the pizza crusts and Ding Dongs, but no meat in mine, thanks.

    • Oldskool
      Oldskool
      April 15, 2015, 5:22 pm | # | Reply

      Yeah, not alone, mostly with the whole “only women are vegetarian / vegan” thing, as it slams like a billion people….

      • Sinsults
        Sinsults
        April 17, 2015, 2:28 am | # | Reply

        not all women are vegans, but all vegans are women. Even the male vegans.

        • Oldskool
          Oldskool
          April 27, 2015, 4:20 pm | # | Reply

          Huh, you even got to add in some sexism AND homophobia. Trifecta!

          • NXTangl
            NXTangl
            October 11, 2015, 11:57 am | #

            Quadrafecta, since he’s also implicitly conflating trans and gay.

            Also, trail mix is fine if you eat it on the trail and you’re sweating like a pig and the M&Ms are half-melted. The salt alone will make the stuff a perfect compliment to fresh water.

  8. Jason
    Jason
    April 15, 2015, 1:31 pm | # | Reply

    That’s one meaty trail.

  9. Max
    Max
    April 15, 2015, 7:36 pm | # | Reply

    …trail mix has M&Ms? Where I’m from, it’s purely composed of fruit and nuts. I suddenly feel like I’ve been cheated for my whole life.

    • VectorLightning
      VectorLightning
      April 15, 2015, 8:05 pm | # | Reply

      If you find a Costco you will probably find the M&M variety… Or you could just mix up some yourself. Crasins + m&ms + peanuts + cashews + almonds.

    • Max
      Max
      April 15, 2015, 11:12 pm | # | Reply

      Costco is American, I assume? I’m in New Zealand, we don’t have them. But to be fair, we treat tramping as a free excuse to eat vast quantities of chocolate, so it evens out.

  10. VectorLightning
    VectorLightning
    April 15, 2015, 8:03 pm | # | Reply

    I kinda agree actually. Sure, the sweet trail mixes are all right but the one I’d go for is something spicy, like… I dunno, assorted tiny spicy crackers?

    • StoneMaven
      StoneMaven
      April 15, 2015, 10:16 pm | # | Reply

      That’s called chex mix

  11. leShut-in
    leShut-in
    July 28, 2019, 8:23 pm | # | Reply

    I should try making that, but with a few substitutes (namely, the pizza crusts for Slim Jims, the Ding-Dongs for cured bacon, and the cigarettes for reefers. But not for me.) Male Mix, I’d call it.

    Also, the closest thing we’d have to vegan is offering triple fried TURKEY bacon rather than triple fried bacon.

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