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Kidnappers Ruin Everything

Kidnappers Ruin Everything

by Adam on November 18, 2015 at 12:00 am
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Discussion (18) ¬

  1. Kai
    Kai
    November 18, 2015, 12:07 am | # | Reply

    How about this: Kidnappers free you from your spoiled brat, so you can live happily ever after?

    • Rhea
      Rhea
      November 18, 2015, 11:31 am | # | Reply

      It’s more like “The Ransom of Red Chief,” where they can’t wait to get the spoiled brat back to you.

      • Kai
        Kai
        November 18, 2015, 3:35 pm | # | Reply

        Bummer.

  2. Jamie
    Jamie
    November 18, 2015, 1:41 am | # | Reply

    The Bed Bath & Beyond coupons are a passive-aggressive hint that your kid should be bathed more frequently.

    • Mahnarch
      Mahnarch
      November 18, 2015, 8:31 am | # | Reply

      Clever. 😀

  3. Echo5
    Echo5
    November 18, 2015, 2:23 am | # | Reply

    But in a bazaar twilight zone twist you have to create a new username and password to redeem the coupon And do one of those capcha things to prove you’re not a robot pirate

  4. Echo5
    Echo5
    November 18, 2015, 2:27 am | # | Reply

    This is doubley funny because the reason I tend to comment so late/early is that I have a 10 month old son who is trained in enhanced interrogation by sleep deprivation

  5. Gene
    Gene
    November 18, 2015, 3:11 am | # | Reply

    Heh. I remember when I’d just go to the toy section in Kmart or where ever, and my mother would just pick me up when she was ready to go. And I knew not to touch anything.

    Except for the 3ft long Space:1999 Eagle… oh yeah, let me touch you, baby, all over…

    Way before kids on milk cartons.

  6. CJ
    CJ
    November 18, 2015, 8:21 am | # | Reply

    I had that Space 1999 Eagle as well! Wow, hadn’t thought of that in a while. And I too also used to wander off by myself to the toy department. Had to be page to come to the front of the store a few times. Now, instead of a polite, ‘Please come to the front of the store, your mother is waiting for you,’ they lock all the doors, sound the alarm klaxon, put up an Amber alert, and the NSA / CIA come and do cavity probes of all the shoppers. All because of creepy bug in panel 1….

  7. CJ
    CJ
    November 18, 2015, 8:22 am | # | Reply

    I had that Space: 1999 Eagle as well! Wow, hadn’t thought of that in a while. And I too also used to wander off by myself to the toy department. Had to be paged to come to the front of the store a few times. Now, instead of a polite, ‘Please come to the front of the store, your mother is waiting for you,’ they lock all the doors, sound the alarm klaxon, put up an Amber alert, and the NSA / CIA come and do cavity probes of all the shoppers. All because of creepy bug in panel 1….

  8. Mahnarch
    Mahnarch
    November 18, 2015, 8:36 am | # | Reply

    Just got to train your kids to be creepier than the kidnappers.

    Kidnapper: “Hey, little fella. Wanna come over and play video games?”
    Your Kid: “bow chicka wow wow”
    Kidnappper: “Uhhh… nevermind.”

    • Mahnarch
      Mahnarch
      November 18, 2015, 8:38 am | # | Reply

      Disclaimer; Mahnarch is not a parent. All advice on child rearing should not be taken seriously. Void where prohibited.

      • Deen
        Deen
        November 18, 2015, 9:04 am | # | Reply

        Hahaha!

    • bd
      bd
      November 18, 2015, 7:52 pm | # | Reply

      How about teaching them weird double-entendres as responses to creepy people?

      “If you need a peg to hang your hopes upon, my Dad has a Buick.”

      Honestly, people should teach their kids a couple of those lines just because. Seriously, barring standard pessimism it is impossible to know when you will next encounter the priggish, nor how big a prig. A couple of quickies like that will come in handy, I promise.

  9. Marquar
    Marquar
    November 18, 2015, 8:57 am | # | Reply

    “The world would be better without child kidnappers.”

    If only there were more webcomic artists willing to take bold, controversial positions like this.

  10. Deen
    Deen
    November 18, 2015, 9:06 am | # | Reply

    If there weren’t kidnappers, you wouldn’t even have to go to lost & found for them. All the little kids these days are walking around with sophisticated GPS devices…and let’s face it, a lot of them are better at operating that kind of equipment than their aging parents!

    • tudza
      tudza
      November 18, 2015, 3:45 pm | # | Reply

      Nah, shock collars. You trigger it and head towards the screams.

      Pretty user friendly.

  11. Crabbie1
    Crabbie1
    February 7, 2018, 8:11 am | # | Reply

    I always love Adam’s pacing–each frame packing a punch line–but today’s is just extra special awesome. I knew from the Creepy Bug wind-up that I was in for a treat.

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