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Bullets and Bodyguards

Bullets and Bodyguards

by Adam on June 30, 2011 at 12:00 am
Chapter: comics
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Discussion (39) ¬

  1. Ijon Tichy
    Ijon Tichy
    June 30, 2011, 12:03 am | # | Reply

    You forgot the very skinny bodyguard. Not only do they barely cover you, it goes straight through them when they do, because there’s not a damned thing there to stop it!

    Oh, and the half-hearted bodyguard. His timing’s good, but his jump is half-assed and he ends up running you into the ground after you’ve been shot.

    • Some guy
      Some guy
      June 30, 2011, 5:29 am | # | Reply

      Wouldn’t the very skinny bodyguard fall under the “fragile bodyguard” catagory?

      • Ijon Tichy
        Ijon Tichy
        June 30, 2011, 10:40 am | # | Reply

        Nah. The fragile bodyguard is a weako who breaks on bullets (or is too soft for them). The skinny bodyguard could be perfectly strong, but there still isn’t much in the way of bullet absorption in him!

  2. Jim Drummen
    Jim Drummen
    June 30, 2011, 12:03 am | # | Reply

    First comment I do believe 🙂 Third and last panel are hilarious ! Great comic as always 🙂

  3. Jim Drummen
    Jim Drummen
    June 30, 2011, 12:04 am | # | Reply

    Although I could be wrong with the first comment bit…. 😛

    • Sandy
      Sandy
      December 7, 2012, 2:11 pm | # | Reply

      If you stuck with “FIRST!!!!!” you might have made it in time!

  4. Dabisnit
    Dabisnit
    June 30, 2011, 12:07 am | # | Reply

    I hope ones like the second to last ones dont actually exist. They should only be given crappy phones from the nineties so there is no angry birds or tiny wings haha

  5. Chaucer
    Chaucer
    June 30, 2011, 12:08 am | # | Reply

    Let’s not forget the bodyguard in the red Starfleet uniform who dies before he can jump in front of anything.

  6. dreamweaver13
    dreamweaver13
    June 30, 2011, 12:28 am | # | Reply

    LOL on panel 2! Even the “noooo!” was midgety.

  7. williamkattwilliams
    williamkattwilliams
    June 30, 2011, 12:36 am | # | Reply

    I’d be more annoyed by the hypersensitive bodyguard always jumping in front of me…drinking fountain…hugs/kisses… (think Clint Eastwood bug in In the Line of Fire). I think your best options are:

    1. Hire a ninja bug to continuously orbit you at ninja speed
    2. Hire Crasher Squirrel

  8. Let
    Let
    June 30, 2011, 12:53 am | # | Reply

    That last one, hahahahaha :-).

  9. LoveTheBadGuy
    LoveTheBadGuy
    June 30, 2011, 1:47 am | # | Reply

    OMG! Each panel just got funnier and funnier! I am literally laughing out loud (and getting some rather odd looks as a result, but ah well, it was worth it!).

  10. Hierro
    Hierro
    June 30, 2011, 2:46 am | # | Reply

    LOVE the last panel! I’ve actually joked about it with my brother but your implementation of it is much funnier! 🙂

  11. Smølfen
    Smølfen
    June 30, 2011, 2:56 am | # | Reply

    I looove how the bug who is going to protected just stand there and look down at him being shot at D

    • Stranger
      Stranger
      June 30, 2011, 3:04 am | # | Reply

      For some reason that look makes me think “Dang it, not again” XD

  12. ecky ecky
    ecky ecky
    June 30, 2011, 2:57 am | # | Reply

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

    I would be the look to the other side and pretend nothing happened bodyguard.

  13. smudgeon
    smudgeon
    June 30, 2011, 5:42 am | # | Reply

    hahaha – Dig Dug! How can it not be on my mobile telephone?

  14. ManateeJohn
    ManateeJohn
    June 30, 2011, 6:25 am | # | Reply

    I love it. Somehow it reminded me of a defective “Spy vs Spy”.

  15. Zoltan
    Zoltan
    June 30, 2011, 7:36 am | # | Reply

    Five gags today! A superlative strip.

  16. Cadier
    Cadier
    June 30, 2011, 9:27 am | # | Reply

    I love how Bug in the second/third panel looks at the bodyguard instead of the bullet. x’)
    And because I’m obsessed with Repo! I can imagine them going:
    Bodyguard: “OOF! My soft nougaty center!”
    Bug: “Nougaty center?”
    All the other bodyguards: “NOUGATY CENTER!”

    Anyway, who is the shooter? ^^

  17. Joey
    Joey
    June 30, 2011, 10:53 am | # | Reply

    “Oof! My soft nougaty center!” may be the greatest sentence ever written.

    • Alessandro
      Alessandro
      July 1, 2011, 8:57 am | # | Reply

      Amen to that.

  18. Jonjon
    Jonjon
    June 30, 2011, 11:13 am | # | Reply

    A. This was absolutely epic.
    B. I think there needs to be a part 2 based on some of the comments above!!!
    C. My first thought on finishing reading this was just thinking about how delayed his reactions have to be if he waited three days, got himself to the grave, and THEN jumped while screaming noooo!

    • RubertBear
      RubertBear
      June 30, 2011, 7:47 pm | # | Reply

      I think the delayed bodyguard was more along the lines of waiting three days after Bug got shot to go to the grave,waited three more days THEN jumped screaming NOOOOOO!!

  19. Rhea
    Rhea
    June 30, 2011, 11:46 am | # | Reply

    An article about Secret Service training said that their job, ultimately, is to be a “meat shield”. ## 1 & 2 suck at that. The others aren’t even trying.

  20. NinjaBlackLlamaClan
    NinjaBlackLlamaClan
    June 30, 2011, 12:31 pm | # | Reply

    I feel I would either be the overly confident or the slow to react body guard… Hmmm… this may require research on my part to decide which kind I would really be.

    • Dashboard
      Dashboard
      June 30, 2011, 10:58 pm | # | Reply

      So you’d be the bodyguard that stands in front of the tombstone and says “Don’t worry mate, i’ve got you covered”

  21. Bethluvsbooks
    Bethluvsbooks
    June 30, 2011, 1:25 pm | # | Reply

    Which is why I employ two fragile bodyguards. After it has passed through both bodies the bullet only goes partway through your body.

  22. Anders
    Anders
    June 30, 2011, 3:27 pm | # | Reply

    Good thing Tim McCarthy isn’t nougaty.

  23. ogeezus
    ogeezus
    June 30, 2011, 5:38 pm | # | Reply

    lol this made my day! hate to be that type of guy who makes suggestions but how about something about dmv lines? I was waiting in line while reading this lol.

  24. Mimi
    Mimi
    June 30, 2011, 6:13 pm | # | Reply

    the last panel was way too funny! oh lord!

  25. Rodent
    Rodent
    June 30, 2011, 7:22 pm | # | Reply

    Best bodyguard probably would be Bud Spencer 😀
    Any upcoming comic about bodyguards that are good at their job? 🙂

  26. WingSpin
    WingSpin
    July 1, 2011, 8:19 am | # | Reply

    The last panel is comedy gold. Hillarious!

  27. Kimberly Temple
    Kimberly Temple
    July 2, 2011, 4:20 pm | # | Reply

    Your webcomic is seriously my favourite anywhere! That last panel is perfection! Every comic is just hilarious! I love them! <3

  28. Kaliganforever412
    Kaliganforever412
    December 2, 2011, 3:17 pm | # | Reply

    Did anyone else read “Soft nougaty center” in Arnold Schwarzenneger’s accent? (Also, I have no idea if I spelled his last name is right or not…)

  29. Faytl
    Faytl
    September 26, 2012, 1:00 am | # | Reply

    Probably my favorite strip

  30. Locku Cisse
    Locku Cisse
    September 24, 2013, 11:47 am | # | Reply

    Except for the midget, he keeps hiring the same useless dumbass!

  31. asterisc
    asterisc
    September 9, 2014, 11:00 am | # | Reply

    fav

  32. Coga19000
    Coga19000
    June 2, 2015, 4:11 am | # | Reply

    Not that it makes the hole any less hilarious, but most unarmored human bodies fall under the “fragile bodyguard ” type. Unless a bullet is specifically designed to not penetrate, or if the gun is to weak, a fire bullet can pass easily through at least two people.
    Now, if he was wearing body armor under his suit, that would change everything. But if you can afford a body armor, why waste it on your bodyguard? Just wear it yourself 😛

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