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Does a Scientist Crap in the Woods?

Does a Scientist Crap in the Woods?

by Adam on November 30, 2015 at 12:00 am
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Discussion (25) ¬

    • Way Too Much Effort for a Cheap Joke | This Is
      November 30, 2015, 11:02 pm | #
  1. Dragon352
    Dragon352
    November 30, 2015, 1:12 am | # | Reply

    LOL!. I know right? why is sciencits so dertermined to study certain things but then stop when it comes to other things?

    especully when the former is so much more dangerous then the latter?

  2. bd
    bd
    November 30, 2015, 2:14 am | # | Reply

    Why did I not previously recognize that these are really big bugs?

    I mean, the thing is that I must have missed an earlier cue.

    No, really, this can’t possibly be the first time.

    I feel stupid.

    And this is not a haiku.

  3. EP
    EP
    November 30, 2015, 4:09 am | # | Reply

    well, speaking as someone who studies turtles, these buggers can BITE. they’ll have your finger off and look smug doing it, too. (plus, I think you mean tortoises :P)

    • Doug
      Doug
      November 30, 2015, 9:46 am | # | Reply

      Wait. You claim to study turtles but get hung up on turtles vs. tortoises? They’re all turtles – anything that is a member of the order Testudines. All tortoises are turtles, but all turtles are not tortoises.

      • EP
        EP
        November 30, 2015, 11:49 am | # | Reply

        is it that way? I’m sorry. in my native language it’s all one word, not entirely familiar with the specific rules in English. figured you just called the land-based ones tortoises for some reason.

        • Doug
          Doug
          December 1, 2015, 8:53 am | # | Reply

          The land-based turtles are typically called tortoises, but not universally. For example, members of the genus Terrapene are called “box turtles” even though they are land turtles. In the US, “tortoise” is typically applied only to those turtles in the Testudinidae family, but it is not universal. In the UK, “tortoise” is more generally applied to all land-based turtles. Turtle is still the general term and always applies. To take it out of context you can still call a “sedan” a “car” (subgroup versus parent group).

      • sidehack
        sidehack
        November 30, 2015, 11:55 am | # | Reply

        If we’re being semantic nitpicks, “All tortoises are turtles, but all turtles are not tortoises” is a self-contradicting statement.

        • N0083rP00F
          N0083rP00F
          November 30, 2015, 1:59 pm | # | Reply

          They got the not in the wrong part of the sentence, which isnt such a big faux-pas compared to the atrocities heaped on the language by native speakers, advertisers especially.

        • Doug
          Doug
          December 1, 2015, 8:46 am | # | Reply

          It is not self-contradicting. It just seems a bit odd since I put the “not” in an atypical location as the following comment points out. (The location is not “wrong” – just a bit unusual.) It would sound more normal if I had said, “All tortoises are turtles, but not all turtles are tortoises”

          • sidehack
            sidehack
            December 1, 2015, 12:06 pm | #

            It’s possible there’s ambiguity depending how strictly you parse the statement. From a logic standpoint, “all turtles are not tortoises” and “not all turtles are tortoises” mean very different things. If all turtles are not tortoises, then all turtles are something other than a tortoise – if a turtle cannot be a tortoise, then a tortoise cannot be a turtle. This contradicts the first half of the statement that all tortoises are turtles. However, if by “all turtles are not tortoises” you mean that the set of all turtles is not contained within the set of all tortoises, then yeah it works.

            Also, yeah, it’s really fun to see the best grammar from foreigners apologizing for their lack of English skills right alongside a native speaker who apparently types with his buttocks.

        • Doug
          Doug
          December 1, 2015, 12:13 pm | # | Reply

          For some reason, it won’t allow me to reply to your reply. Upon further consideration, you are right and I am wrong. While I have pretty good grammar for an engineer, I am still an engineer… (And a native English speaker, so I can’t use that as an excuse…)

        • Jean Corkill
          Jean Corkill
          December 4, 2015, 7:55 pm | # | Reply

          No it is not self-contradictory. Tortoise is a subset of the set Turtles. So, all tortoises are turtles but not all turtles are tortoises.

  4. Dave Dell
    Dave Dell
    November 30, 2015, 4:49 am | # | Reply

    Some turtles are mean, aggressive, and quicker than you’d think over a short distance. Don’t let a snapper get a bite on you!

  5. Ian Osmond
    Ian Osmond
    November 30, 2015, 1:39 pm | # | Reply

    I would rather face a black bear than a snapping turtle. A grizzly would be worrisome, but snappers are way meaner and more dangerous than black bears.

    A snapping turtle will bite through your foot, just because it feels like it. A black bear will simply stay away from you.

    • Doug
      Doug
      December 1, 2015, 8:55 am | # | Reply

      I can outrun a snapping turtle…

      • Mahnarch
        Mahnarch
        December 2, 2015, 6:11 am | # | Reply

        Yes. But, you’ll get all smug and stop to take a nap.
        Meanwhile the snapper will keep going and, eventually, win the race…

      • Ian Osmond
        Ian Osmond
        December 2, 2015, 8:18 am | # | Reply

        If you’re in reasonable shape, yes, you probably can outrun a snapping turtle. But you actually will have to RUN, not WALK. Snappers move like Ray Harryhausen stop-motion dinosaurs, but they do it surprisingly fast. If you’re a jogger, you can get away. If you were planning on walking away, it will catch up to you, and bite through your Achilles tendon, and then you’re done for.

        They’re kind of like the killer in a slasher movie, really.

        • Doug
          Doug
          December 2, 2015, 8:35 am | # | Reply

          Well, a black bear can run 30 mph, which is faster than Usain Bolt at his best. The top speed of an alligator snapping turtle is 2.4 mph (according to: http://a-z-animals.com/animals/snapping-turtle/). While that may not be definitive, I’m guessing it is well within the correct range. If you’re close enough to a big snapper, they CAN shoot their heads out pretty quickly (with a surprising range) for a big bite.

  6. Ian Osmond
    Ian Osmond
    November 30, 2015, 1:42 pm | # | Reply

    Anyway, if you think that nobody’s been mauled in the pursuit of turtle knowledge, I STRONGLY suggest that you do NOT do a Google image search on alligator snapping turtle injuries.

  7. meh
    meh
    November 30, 2015, 2:09 pm | # | Reply

    “A tragedy by Aeschylus”?

    • Ian Osmond
      Ian Osmond
      November 30, 2015, 3:09 pm | # | Reply

      Honestly, I blame that one on the eagle more than the turtle.

  8. Gene
    Gene
    November 30, 2015, 4:05 pm | # | Reply

    Yup. Had an alligator snapping turtle snap a broomstick in half here in Florida… those little bastards are bad tempered and Not To Be Messed With.

  9. Exho5
    Exho5
    November 30, 2015, 10:20 pm | # | Reply

    I accidentally dropped your clipboard in salmon and honey but it’s the only one we’ve got. Budget cuts. Just go

  10. VaguelyCreepy
    VaguelyCreepy
    December 1, 2015, 12:01 am | # | Reply

    Second panel is my favorite in a very long time. Would look good on a shirt, or perhaps in a collection of your best Larson-esque single panels, like the first panel of last week’s “Kidnappers Ruin Everything,” or panel 2 of “Hot Blooded” back on 1/1/13, or panel 2 of “Donating Body to Science” on 6/15/10.

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