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Malicious Melodies

Malicious Melodies

by Adam on January 20, 2012 at 12:00 am
Chapter: comics
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Discussion (57) ¬

  1. AAIIGH my eyes!
    AAIIGH my eyes!
    January 20, 2012, 12:13 am | # | Reply

    I love this comic, read it every day, thanks man

  2. BugFanNo.1million
    BugFanNo.1million
    January 20, 2012, 12:15 am | # | Reply

    This makes total sense.

  3. Gray
    Gray
    January 20, 2012, 12:24 am | # | Reply

    Oh dear god. I’ve had this stuck in my head the past 7 years. I never realized its destructive potential.

    …you’ll have to excuse me. I have to find a pre-k class.

  4. Jon
    Jon
    January 20, 2012, 12:39 am | # | Reply

    I’m a little h-bomb short and stout,
    one day you’re sitting there the next you’re on a cloud …

    Nice goin’ Adam. =)

  5. williamkattwilliams
    williamkattwilliams
    January 20, 2012, 12:55 am | # | Reply

    I’m an AC outlet
    rectangular and low
    show me a fork
    and I’ll make you glow

    • Iforwhat
      Iforwhat
      January 20, 2012, 11:58 am | # | Reply

      *clapping*

  6. Gz
    Gz
    January 20, 2012, 1:46 am | # | Reply

    haha brilliant.

  7. Thomas
    Thomas
    January 20, 2012, 2:50 am | # | Reply

    The little girl’s name – is it Mindy?

    • bd
      bd
      January 21, 2012, 3:52 am | # | Reply

      Awesome. Gold from the vaults, eh?

  8. tudza
    tudza
    January 20, 2012, 3:44 am | # | Reply

    I’m a little tea pot short and squat
    This is my handle and this is not.

    or

    I’m a little tea pot short and stout
    Sock it to me baby let it all hang out

  9. Margaret
    Margaret
    January 20, 2012, 4:00 am | # | Reply

    I demand more renditions!

  10. MrSnow
    MrSnow
    January 20, 2012, 4:34 am | # | Reply

    This is totally possible 😀 and I wouldn’t put it past todays kids to b singing about effed up things 😛

  11. Clownwithoutmakeup
    Clownwithoutmakeup
    January 20, 2012, 5:45 am | # | Reply

    MY EYES ARE MELTING!

  12. dave dell
    dave dell
    January 20, 2012, 6:34 am | # | Reply

    It’s got a good beat. It’s easy to dance to. I’ll give it an 83.

  13. Don
    Don
    January 20, 2012, 6:42 am | # | Reply

    “Go away” – a classic euphemism for “burn alive”! 😀 Love it, great as ever!

  14. Geek Girl
    Geek Girl
    January 20, 2012, 6:56 am | # | Reply

    Surreal, macabre, and funny as heck. A+

  15. Tomnician
    Tomnician
    January 20, 2012, 7:13 am | # | Reply

    Choked on breakfast when I read panel 3. One of the best yet!

  16. Chemgal
    Chemgal
    January 20, 2012, 8:44 am | # | Reply

    My brother-in-law sings songs like this. I shared the comic with him.

  17. Rhea
    Rhea
    January 20, 2012, 9:45 am | # | Reply

    Oh god, I love the little niece… and he’s just encouraging her. This is one of the funniest yet, which is saying a lot.

  18. Deen
    Deen
    January 20, 2012, 10:06 am | # | Reply

    Oh, I’m going to be happily singing these all day. Now… off to find some little folk to corrupt!

  19. Iforwhat
    Iforwhat
    January 20, 2012, 12:04 pm | # | Reply

    I am ol’ glory
    Hear the angels sing
    One of them stands up
    And then gets it’s wings

    Best I could come up with.

    • Iforwhat
      Iforwhat
      January 20, 2012, 12:16 pm | # | Reply

      I realized I messed up the song, so I’ll try again

      ……..I got noth’in

  20. Armoless
    Armoless
    January 20, 2012, 12:34 pm | # | Reply

    “Cut down the trees and gangsters as well!”

    I.. Love.. IT! lovelovelovelove LOVE IT.

  21. Kimberly
    Kimberly
    January 20, 2012, 12:54 pm | # | Reply

    Fantastic! I love it! This strip is one of the perfect reasons why the site is my homepage 😀

    • Adam
      Adam
      January 20, 2012, 6:00 pm | # | Reply

      Sweet!

  22. surtursbane
    surtursbane
    January 20, 2012, 1:50 pm | # | Reply

    Panels 3 and 4 are comic gold. Way to go, man.

  23. novascottch
    novascottch
    January 20, 2012, 2:15 pm | # | Reply

    I love the little niece bug! She’s so cute when she’s potentially destructive <3

    • Jeff
      Jeff
      January 20, 2012, 2:20 pm | # | Reply

      *Like* Almost my exact comment. Niece bug is one of my favorite characters. She’s cute as heck and eeeeeevillllllll .
      I love how he’s “handing it to her” to finish the verse. What else are uncles for, am I right?

      • novascottch
        novascottch
        January 22, 2012, 8:25 pm | # | Reply

        I’m gonna start doing stuff like this to encourage my nephew haha my sister will hate me, but it’ll be so worth it.

  24. LanceThruster
    LanceThruster
    January 20, 2012, 3:24 pm | # | Reply

    Nothing, but *nothing* beats the artistry of the poetry of childhood.

    When in danger, when in doubt
    Run in circles, scream and shout

    • Adam
      Adam
      January 20, 2012, 6:03 pm | # | Reply

      That little rhyme is one of my favorites. I heard it on MST3K. Does anyone know if they originated it?

      • Frances
        Frances
        January 22, 2012, 5:09 pm | # | Reply

        I first saw that rhyme on Freefall: http://freefall.purrsia.com/ff100/fv00047.htm

      • Olentzero
        Olentzero
        January 23, 2012, 11:55 pm | # | Reply

        There’s a folk rock album from the late 1960s called Running Jumping Standing Still; one cut off the album (I believe the title track) has the singer, Spider John Koerner, chant “When in danger, when in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout” in the middle of the bridge. So I’m gonna say no, MST3k didn’t originate it. No idea who did, though.

  25. thorgold
    thorgold
    January 20, 2012, 5:10 pm | # | Reply

    Oh man, panel three. Just panel three 😀

    I’m a little chainsaw, sharp as hell!
    I cut through trees and gangsters as well.
    When you hear me revving a death knell,
    Body parts will be yours to sell!

    • Adam
      Adam
      January 20, 2012, 6:04 pm | # | Reply

      Well done, sir. I knew someone would finish that one for me.

      • thorgold
        thorgold
        January 20, 2012, 10:35 pm | # | Reply

        But wait, there’s more! “Say” is a tough rhyme to start with, but here goes:

        I’m a Molotov bomb, clear the way!
        I’ll kill ‘dem Nazis, I’ll save the day
        When you light my rag you’ll hear me say
        Chuck me at those fascists and they’ll burn away.

        Ahh, Russian nursery rhymes. In Soviet Russia… hm, can’t think of one.

    • Vacendik
      Vacendik
      January 20, 2012, 6:42 pm | # | Reply

      I admit I would have gone Trees and Zombies vs. gangsters. 🙂

    • Kevin Moreau
      Kevin Moreau
      January 21, 2012, 2:24 am | # | Reply

      Thank you SOOOO much for this 🙂

  26. Baughbe
    Baughbe
    January 20, 2012, 5:24 pm | # | Reply

    People, didn’t any of you really listen to the songs you were taught as a kids? Most of them are absolutely horrific! They are what made childhood great! From songs about the plague, to being lost in the woods or mauled by animals, those songs are what kept the nightlight industry in business and put food on the table for thousands. Ahh, to be a kid again.

    • thorgold
      thorgold
      January 20, 2012, 10:42 pm | # | Reply

      Rock-a-bye baby in the tree top, when the wind blows the cradle will rock, when the bough breaks the baby will fall, and down will come baby, cradle and all.

      That’s sadism, right there. Apparently, we used to sacrifice infants to the wind god!

  27. soapyillusion
    soapyillusion
    January 20, 2012, 5:41 pm | # | Reply

    looks like there having a lot of fun in pannel 3 and 4.
    i like little girl bug.

  28. bugworldinhabitant
    bugworldinhabitant
    January 20, 2012, 5:55 pm | # | Reply

    I was LOL at this, as not 15 minutes prior to reading this I was singing the teapot song to my daughter … It’s ok, everyone survived without injury.

  29. pjunk
    pjunk
    January 21, 2012, 3:01 am | # | Reply

    Someday I hope to raise children and teach them equally devious ditties.

  30. Dreamer
    Dreamer
    January 21, 2012, 9:09 am | # | Reply

    I love how excited the little girl is in panel 3

  31. Ben Hutchings
    Ben Hutchings
    January 21, 2012, 12:07 pm | # | Reply

    Nitpick: the ‘Molotov cocktail’ was a response by the Finns to the Soviet invasion and ‘Molotov breadbaskets’ (aerial bombs). It was used to blow up (rather, immobilise) ‘commie’ tanks, not fascists.

  32. ShameLa
    ShameLa
    January 21, 2012, 12:32 pm | # | Reply

    Adam, the first place I saw “run in circles, scream and shout” was in a Heinlein novel.

  33. DaBossTroll
    DaBossTroll
    January 22, 2012, 2:22 am | # | Reply

    The whole thing is:

    “When in danger, or in doubt;
    Run in circles, scream and shout;
    Give ’em hell, and fire a gun;
    Run the signal up, Well Done!”

    Its a very old traditional Navy ditty…Heinlein was a former Navy officer, and a lot of that traditional Navy stuff is all over his stories…especially in his expressed attitudes toward duty and courage.

    • LanceThruster
      LanceThruster
      January 23, 2012, 12:34 pm | # | Reply

      Wel done indeed, DaBossTroll.

      Heinlein is always so very quotable.

      An armed society is a polite society. Manners are good when one may have to back up his acts with his life. ~ Robert A. Heinlein

      Read more great ones here: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/r/robertahe100989.html#ixzz1kJ7gglmR

    • Rhea
      Rhea
      January 23, 2012, 6:03 pm | # | Reply

      I thought it was

      When in danger, when in doubt
      Run in circles, scream and shout
      Bang your head against the wall
      Make it hell for one and all

  34. -PookeyG-
    -PookeyG-
    January 22, 2012, 10:11 am | # | Reply

    “I chop down trees and gangsters as well”?!?!?!?!

    I’ll be laughing all DAY on that line alone.

  35. bd
    bd
    January 23, 2012, 11:46 am | # | Reply

    I’m a little handgun,
    Short and cute.
    Point me at your best friend
    And listen to me poot.

  36. Boo
    Boo
    March 11, 2012, 1:03 am | # | Reply

    I have decided i love your comic. Hand down the best one ever. Oh the joy.

  37. Snark Shark
    Snark Shark
    July 14, 2012, 12:58 am | # | Reply

    BWA-HA-HA!!!!

  38. Shannon Love
    Shannon Love
    March 25, 2013, 11:18 pm | # | Reply

    Ahem…

    The Molotov cocktails was invented by the Finns to throw at Soviet tanks invading under Stalin. Molotov was Soviet Premier under Stalin and made a number of insane remarks about the Finnish-Soviet war e.g. that Soviet planes only dropped bombs filled with bread for starving Finns. The Finns fastened on Molotov as the chief villain in the war and christened their new anti-tank weapon after him. As in, “Here Molotov have a cocktail!” Fwoosh.

    So the song in pane 4 should be:

    When you light my rag
    Here me say
    Chunk me at the Commies
    and make them run away.

  39. Col Klink
    Col Klink
    April 1, 2013, 8:49 pm | # | Reply

    I’m a little sexpot, tall and thin,
    Lubin’ up my boobs is not a sin.
    When you hear me comin’,
    Just roll me over and do it agin.

  40. Durinn
    Durinn
    July 10, 2013, 6:49 am | # | Reply

    Shannon Love is correct. I was going to say what she said. I will instead just add that Finland was the only Eastern European nation to successfully avoid communist domination after WWII, no thanks to the US or UK, both of whom tried to help the Soviets capture it after reneging on their promises of aid to Finland. However, despite facing odds similar to those the Spartans faced at Thermopylae, the Finns managed to lose only about 10% of their land to the Soviets.

  41. Anne Onymous
    Anne Onymous
    September 28, 2020, 4:30 pm | # | Reply

    Morbidly funny as always.

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