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Oh for Heist’s Sake

Oh for Heist’s Sake

by Adam on June 9, 2016 at 12:11 am
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Discussion (14) ¬

  1. Wraj
    Wraj
    June 9, 2016, 1:20 am | # | Reply

    You’ll want to mace the children before you grab the pitcher. It gives them less time to react. But then again, mace isn’t the most effective tool to use when under an incoming helicopter. A stray gust of wind could have you incapacitating yourself. I can see why you were doing heist practice in the first place.

    You should start the whole plan over. Maybe something with high explosives or digging a tunnel underneath the target.

    • Seeen
      Seeen
      June 9, 2016, 4:58 am | # | Reply

      Try chloroform, but be at ready to counter the insanely powerful child martial art techniques such as the Windmill. Don’t let them use the Tattle, or it’s all over.

    • wetcorps
      wetcorps
      June 9, 2016, 8:17 pm | # | Reply

      You’d risk contaminating your hard earned lemonade with mace.

    • Eerongal
      Eerongal
      June 10, 2016, 12:32 pm | # | Reply

      That entirely depends on the type of mace we’re talking about here….

      http://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/forgottenrealms/images/0/06/Light-mace1.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20111012051505

  2. JaylanPHNX
    JaylanPHNX
    June 9, 2016, 5:23 am | # | Reply

    This whole strip was just an excuse to use the phrase “cruller caper” wasn’t it?

    • Adam
      Adam
      June 9, 2016, 3:16 pm | # | Reply

      I plead the 5th.

  3. Pink Floyd
    Pink Floyd
    June 9, 2016, 6:38 am | # | Reply

    Anyone else hear the them to Mission: Impossible in their head while reading this?

    • Saskfan
      Saskfan
      June 9, 2016, 7:41 am | # | Reply

      I am now.

    • tlh-in-tlh
      tlh-in-tlh
      June 9, 2016, 8:45 am | # | Reply

      Or better yet, Kronk’s theme from “The Emperor’s New Groove”.

  4. Marquar
    Marquar
    June 9, 2016, 9:58 am | # | Reply

    You definitely don’t want to eat where you heist. The chance of leaving fingerprints or DNA are much, much higher.

    But you should have a wholesome breakfast beforehand, you don’t want to run out of steam mid-heist. I’d suggest fruit and cereal to avoid a sugar crash from sweets like danish or donuts. Unless you’re likely to forget to tie off your dangle-cord without it, save the coffee for after. Nothing worse than needing to pee when piñating 30 feet in the air.

  5. Zed
    Zed
    June 9, 2016, 10:37 am | # | Reply

    Yes, you might as well steal the breakfast too. With all of the nosey old people sitting around using the free wi-fi you’ll probably get arrested before you can get out the door, and you’ll surely need the nourishment of a full breakfast to help you through the hours of waiting to be booked, fingerprinted, photographed, questioned, etc. and your next meal may not be until supper is served.

    As for the lemonade stand, the helicopter that picks you up will probably be a police helicopter, because kids are even faster on cell phones that older adult…and they’ll probably have your picture or video to post, too!

    You might want to rethink the whole morning heist thing.

  6. Ian D Osmond
    Ian D Osmond
    June 9, 2016, 2:19 pm | # | Reply

    You don’t want to get your breakfast in a heist. You should properly run either a con or a grift to get breakfast. Basically, you start the day with a bit of a con for coffee and muffins — try posing as a quality insurance inspector who needs samples to take back to the lab for a basic warm-up grift. Then, use a bit of pickpocketing or other handcraft to get on the train — pickpocket someone’s Oyster card or Charlie card or transit pass or something, but then — and this is important — pickpocket it BACK after getting through. Yes, this involves doing a dip through or over the turnstile, either to get through or to get it back to them before they notice, which is what makes it interesting.

    After that, you should be ready and energized for your heist. But don’t forget to stretch! Pulling a hamstring on your harness is PAINFUL.

  7. James Not-A-Zombie Jameson
    James Not-A-Zombie Jameson
    June 9, 2016, 6:28 pm | # | Reply

    I’m noticing a pattern here. The last three comments have been quite long. Still, you should have no fear, the pattern lives on like [Claimed by Nintendo]. Like my last comment, this to shall rhyme. I may as well be a comet, as my wordplay will shine. My need to write as a poet is something for which you may inquire. The answer, I shall throw it, is a distraction’s what I require.

    This is a comic I regularly peruse. Put away that CHAR tonic, I swear it’s not a ruse. The characters, while simple, have writing that is fantastic. The humor’d fill 1,000 thimbles, it’s really quite bombastic.

    I hate to break it to you, but this was actually a rap. I hope you like Star Wars, ’cause this was a trap!

  8. Valerie DeFrance
    Valerie DeFrance
    June 9, 2016, 9:39 pm | # | Reply

    1? 3? 5? Bucks per month as a patreon…Ugggh! Can’t I just send one gob o’ cash, skip all the extras and then continue to enjoy the end product without guilt?
    Paramedic Valerie, who has a serious BugMartini addiction.

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