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The Book of Joe

The Book of Joe

by Adam on November 5, 2014 at 12:00 am
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Discussion (24) ¬

  1. Axonite
    Axonite
    November 5, 2014, 12:24 am | # | Reply

    New Testament Chuck Cunningham Syndrome!

    • Yes
      Yes
      February 10, 2019, 6:34 am | # | Reply

      is that a reasonably common phrase, or has your life also been ruined?

  2. Rheywas
    Rheywas
    November 5, 2014, 12:57 am | # | Reply

    Now THAT would be a book I’d read.

  3. Hauke
    Hauke
    November 5, 2014, 1:27 am | # | Reply

    It may be because of the “father” status originally. I mean his wife told him that a swan, sorry a white bull, wait it was the cable guy, no a holy ghost came along and dang, she was pregnant. Doesn’t exactly help with bonding I guess.

    • Kai
      Kai
      November 5, 2014, 1:45 am | # | Reply

      And did Jesus ever admit that?

      Like: “Oh, there’s that thing about other guys’ wifes – and my father broke that one … but still, although my father broke his own rules, I am your Messiah.”

      • Mahnarch
        Mahnarch
        November 5, 2014, 7:16 am | # | Reply

        Were Mary and Joe married at the time of impregnation?
        Otherwise, wouldn’t there have been consumation?

        • Marquar
          Marquar
          November 5, 2014, 8:26 am | # | Reply

          They were not married but only betrothed. And there was no consummation. Matthew 1:18 says that she became pregnant by the Holy Spirit before she and Joseph had “come together” (nudge, nudge, wink, wink).

        • Deen
          Deen
          November 5, 2014, 8:29 am | # | Reply

          Nope, not married at that time. And after Mary/Joseph were married, there were siblings that we never hear about. That had to be hard. It’s bad enough to be compared to older bro/sis Greg or Marcia… can you imagine living up to older brother Jesus??

          • Chimera
            Chimera
            November 5, 2014, 12:05 pm | #

            The Arrogant Worms have a song about exactly that: http://youtu.be/kc5q142NFkA

      • Rena
        Rena
        November 7, 2014, 5:09 pm | # | Reply

        Do as I preach, not as I do.

  4. MatM.
    MatM.
    November 5, 2014, 2:49 am | # | Reply

    Interjection or nickname?

  5. RAAAH
    RAAAH
    November 5, 2014, 3:24 am | # | Reply

    josef calling him geez, hilarious

    • Rat
      Rat
      November 5, 2014, 8:41 am | # | Reply

      Great catch 😀

  6. Mike Peterson
    Mike Peterson
    November 5, 2014, 4:18 am | # | Reply

    Actually, there were some childhood gospels thrown out of the Bible that feature Joseph. In one, he has a commission for a rich man to build a bed, but accidentally cuts the board too short, so little Jesus stretches it out to fit. In another, a kid bullies little Jesus and gets smote, whereupon Joseph and Mary have to have a talk with the boy — presumably one that doesn’t end up with them sent to the corn field. For some reason, the scholars assembling the final draft of the Bible decided these didn’t belong. A shame, really.

    • ohplease
      ohplease
      November 11, 2014, 2:12 pm | # | Reply

      Good think the Twilight Zone has us covered.

    • NXTangl
      NXTangl
      August 26, 2016, 5:35 pm | # | Reply

      I heard that Jesus also killed a dragon when he was ten.

      That’s pretty awesome, no?

  7. The Mattness
    The Mattness
    November 5, 2014, 6:23 am | # | Reply

    Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand I have a new favorite strip :p Well done!

    If you’ve not already read it, check out Christopher Moore’s “Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal.” It’s one of the best, most hilarious, most touching books I’ve ever read.

  8. Izzie
    Izzie
    November 5, 2014, 7:04 am | # | Reply

    Bug is one of the reasons I can bear waking up so early. Also one of the few places I can tolerate biblical jokes.

  9. penguinboy
    penguinboy
    November 5, 2014, 9:13 am | # | Reply

    Sacrilarious 🙂

  10. Silly Name
    Silly Name
    November 5, 2014, 10:59 am | # | Reply

    You know, this has actually always bothered me. Mary keeps getting talked about up to and after Jesus’ resurrection, but Joseph simply disappears even before Jesus starts going around making speeches and getting disciples. Did the people writing the Gospels decide he was a poorly developed character and stopped using him? Maybe the readers didn’t like him?

  11. bd
    bd
    November 5, 2014, 12:57 pm | # | Reply

    The gospel canon is a political result. There is also a Gospel of Thomas, a Gospel of Mary, a Gospel of Mary Magdalene, and, yes, a Gospel of Joseph, but none of these were included, for various reasons, when the New Testament canon was set. In some cases, there were good reasons for exclusion. In others, not so much. The question is only compounded by the Gospel of John, which does not match the other three. Scholars argue over why it was included, but the end result is that the NT canon is a political result.

  12. Lemmer
    Lemmer
    November 6, 2014, 6:40 pm | # | Reply

    And I was all like “What you’re talking about, the kid has like three full episodes, what with the multicolor coat and the cows and everything”. Then I thought “Did he had a child called Jesus?” Then it was “Oh, wrong book”

  13. Movie Vigilante
    Movie Vigilante
    November 7, 2014, 12:38 am | # | Reply

    Joseph: Look at that crucifix! Who did the sanding on that? You’re liable to get a splinter.

  14. Marquar
    Marquar
    November 7, 2014, 8:58 am | # | Reply

    More like, Joseph: Are you going to spend all day hanging around with your friends?

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