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The Importance of Being Important

The Importance of Being Important

by Adam on November 18, 2014 at 12:00 am
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Discussion (19) ¬

  1. Rhea
    Rhea
    November 18, 2014, 12:12 am | # | Reply

    Fading actress: “I’m a star, and don’t you forget it!”
    Bellboy, aside: “If you gotta tell ’em, you ain’t.”

    Pimp-Along Cassidy… Have mercy….

  2. Russian Watermelon
    Russian Watermelon
    November 18, 2014, 12:35 am | # | Reply

    You could try “WHO DO YOU THINK YOU’RE TALKING TO?!” and then running away. coz, you know, if a tree falls in a forest and there’s nobody around to hear it fall, does it really make a sound?

    • Mahnarch
      Mahnarch
      November 18, 2014, 9:47 am | # | Reply

      *tree falls*

      Tree: “Oww! Steeeve! Help!”

      • Russian Watermelon
        Russian Watermelon
        November 18, 2014, 12:39 pm | # | Reply

        *puts fingers in ears*
        lalalalalalala! not hearing anything. lalalalalalalala! how so completely quiet that fall was. lalalalalala!

      • VectorLightning
        VectorLightning
        November 18, 2014, 10:13 pm | # | Reply

        If Steve(?) gets squashed by a tree in a Minecraft mod that adds gravity to blocks, and there are no mobs around to hear, does he make a sound?

    • AlixeTiir
      AlixeTiir
      November 18, 2014, 4:58 pm | # | Reply

      Yes it does. Conservation of energy.

      (that was an SMBC reference, don’t mind me)

    • Ian Osmond
      Ian Osmond
      November 18, 2014, 7:02 pm | # | Reply

      You’re doing it wrong. What you do is you yell, “DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?!?!”

      Then, when they say, “No”, you say, “Oh, good,” and do whatever you want to do, because they have no clue who you are.

  3. Timothy G Cramer
    Timothy G Cramer
    November 18, 2014, 2:09 am | # | Reply

    Before asking that question, you have to shave your head, and to take off your shirt.

  4. Kai
    Kai
    November 18, 2014, 2:27 am | # | Reply

    The more of your stories I read, the more I wonder how many of them are written about me. 😉

  5. Craig
    Craig
    November 18, 2014, 2:49 am | # | Reply

    A good question if you ever develop amnesia. “Who do you think you’re talking to? Because I don’t know either.”

    • Ian Osmond
      Ian Osmond
      November 18, 2014, 7:04 pm | # | Reply

      The other variation of this was an overbearing jerk berating a someone working at some sort of customer service desk — hotel clerk or something like that — who used, “Do you know who I am?”

      She picked up the PA and said, “Attention: if there is anybody who can identify the gentleman standing at the desk in front of me, please come to the desk; he seems to have amnesia.”

  6. Vausch
    Vausch
    November 18, 2014, 3:21 am | # | Reply

    The correct response to a child saying “I’m the future” is “You’re the physical embodiment of unearned entitlement, diminishing resources, and environmental decay. The future is doomed.”

  7. Michael Corley
    Michael Corley
    November 18, 2014, 6:10 am | # | Reply

    He COULD be the man in the yellow hat. Does he have a monkey?

    • JXJ
      JXJ
      November 18, 2014, 12:11 pm | # | Reply

      I’d be curious to know.

  8. Jeff Clough
    Jeff Clough
    November 18, 2014, 7:01 am | # | Reply

    That Pimp Along Cassidy outfit…killed me!

  9. Big Juan
    Big Juan
    November 18, 2014, 8:40 am | # | Reply

    Pimpy, with his white Caddilac “Whopper” fought for subscription based porn on the internet.

  10. someone
    someone
    November 18, 2014, 1:07 pm | # | Reply

    try to wear a black suit and after they reply that just tell to yourself “its actually works”

  11. Shannon Love
    Shannon Love
    November 18, 2014, 3:18 pm | # | Reply

    Don’t bother, the only proper response to the “Who do you think I am?” is “I think your the guy who screams, my face, my face, what did you do to my face?”

    One of friends actually got the “Do you know who my daddy is?” and replied with, “Shouldn’t your mother know that?”

  12. mdp33d
    mdp33d
    November 18, 2014, 3:50 pm | # | Reply

    it’s like blade runner!

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