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The Topic of Cancer

The Topic of Cancer

by Adam on March 15, 2012 at 12:00 am
Chapter: comics
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Discussion (50) ¬

  1. ninelen
    ninelen
    March 15, 2012, 12:10 am | # | Reply

    Someone came to my high school once to talk about this. “Cancer rates have dramatically increased in recent years,” they said, of course ignoring the fact that they had no cancer in the Middle Ages because they didn’t know what it was.

    • Rhea
      Rhea
      March 15, 2012, 12:12 am | # | Reply

      And hardly anyone survived the typhoid, cholera, and plague long enough to get it.

    • Alex
      Alex
      March 18, 2012, 10:30 pm | # | Reply

      Actually ninelen, cancer has been known about since the ancient Greeks. It was first described by Hippocrates, who thought the tumours resembled a crab in some ways, hence the name (like the constellation). Rhea’s got the idea though: cancer is caused by living longer.

      • JHE
        JHE
        July 5, 2012, 2:07 am | # | Reply

        is it? how come kids and youngsters make out a considerable part of cancer patients then?

        • Shannon Love
          Shannon Love
          March 26, 2013, 7:51 pm | # | Reply

          Corrected for age and cigarette smoking cancer rates have remained about the same over the course of the 20th century. There has been some shifts in cancers e.g. stomach cancer was once very common but is now rare thanks to antibiotics and antioxidant food preservatives. Most the hysteria about rising cancer rates is sold by focusing on very rare cancers, like childhood leukemia, in which a spike of a few dozen cases in a year or two makes a 10% increase in cancer rates.

          There a lot of money and power to be made in convincing people they are constantly under attack and that they need to buy special products and vote for special politicians to protect them. That’s why I own stock in Whole Foods and wish I could’ve bought it in Bill Clinton (he really cleaned up after he left office.)

      • Jack
        Jack
        September 4, 2013, 11:21 am | # | Reply

        I love how Rhea and Alex’s profile pics are roughly in the same position. It’s like they’re both face palmming.

      • ARandomGuy
        ARandomGuy
        November 23, 2021, 1:12 am | # | Reply

        Wasn’t it already known by the Egyptians as this incurable disease?

    • Anne Onymous
      Anne Onymous
      September 29, 2020, 3:04 pm | # | Reply

      It’s like autism- the are more cases because more are diagnosed correctly, which is good for women on the spectrum, like me.

  2. williamkattwilliams
    williamkattwilliams
    March 15, 2012, 12:11 am | # | Reply

    What about galumphing? What’ll that give you?

    • Laura
      Laura
      March 15, 2012, 8:58 am | # | Reply

      Progeria

    • a nanny mouse
      a nanny mouse
      March 16, 2012, 4:53 pm | # | Reply

      Probably Jabberwocky.

  3. ⬡
    ⬡
    March 15, 2012, 12:34 am | # | Reply

    My theory is only oxygen causes cancer. All those who suspect other things are simply wrong; they’re just unlucky.

    • Sarah
      Sarah
      March 15, 2012, 10:56 am | # | Reply

      My fiance has been saying that for a while…

  4. tefgara
    tefgara
    March 15, 2012, 1:09 am | # | Reply

    what about helium? does THAT cause cancer? is the squeaking voice just an indicator that the cancer has spread?

  5. Deamon
    Deamon
    March 15, 2012, 3:42 am | # | Reply

    Just for fun: Try googling ‘DHMO’.

    • Deamon
      Deamon
      March 15, 2012, 3:43 am | # | Reply

      Top search result should do the trick.

      • Tom
        Tom
        March 15, 2012, 7:47 am | # | Reply

        haha, But I’ve heard this before!

  6. MrSnow
    MrSnow
    March 15, 2012, 4:00 am | # | Reply

    I hope reading bug doesnt give me cancer o_O if so at least im lmao’ing my way there

  7. Some guy
    Some guy
    March 15, 2012, 4:53 am | # | Reply

    We’ve known water to be deadly for a long time now. Everybody who has ever come in contact with it died, or will die.

  8. dave dell
    dave dell
    March 15, 2012, 6:26 am | # | Reply

    I’ve always been puzzled about statements such as, “tumpty tump increases your chance of yunglyish cancer by 14 percent.”

    Is it a 50 percent chance raised to 57 percent or is it one chance in a million raised to one chance in 930,000?

    • dave dell
      dave dell
      March 15, 2012, 6:28 am | # | Reply

      Bad math. Sorry. One in 860,000?

    • Zaklog the Great
      Zaklog the Great
      March 15, 2012, 6:42 am | # | Reply

      I’m sure the scientists actually have a very clear explanation, but the journalists most of us hear this through don’t want to take up the column space to spell everything out.

    • Shannon Love
      Shannon Love
      March 26, 2013, 7:55 pm | # | Reply

      That’s called absolute versus relative risk. The absolute risk is your current chance of getting the cancer plus whatever new factor might raise the risk. So, if you have 1 in 1,000 chance of getting cancer ‘X’ and something raises you chances by 10%, you now have 1.1 in 1,000 chance. Relative risk is just the 10% increase.

      Journalist, activist and politicians always tell you the relative risk. It just sells better.

  9. Zaklog the Great
    Zaklog the Great
    March 15, 2012, 6:40 am | # | Reply

    Hmmm, what do gadding about and loafing cause?

    • Laura
      Laura
      March 15, 2012, 9:03 am | # | Reply

      Blue Skin disorder and Shrinking Penis Syndrome

      • Col Klink
        Col Klink
        April 1, 2013, 10:16 pm | # | Reply

        Loafing = SPS?

        Crap! No more loafing again ever! E. Normous Johnson likes the size he is.

  10. Tom
    Tom
    March 15, 2012, 7:48 am | # | Reply

    HEY ADAM!! you forgot to add linkage in the last comic. The “next”/”latest” buttons dont do anything…

    • Deen
      Deen
      March 15, 2012, 11:09 am | # | Reply

      You are kidding, right? This is the last/latest comic.

  11. Jeff
    Jeff
    March 15, 2012, 8:24 am | # | Reply

    Wait…plutoniumacuzzi’s are DANGEROUS???

    • Malcar
      Malcar
      March 15, 2012, 10:07 am | # | Reply

      Nah, don’t worry about it. The point of the comic is that everything causes cancer, so you may as well just kick back and smoke in your plutoniumacuzzi.

  12. Fancy Pants
    Fancy Pants
    March 15, 2012, 8:26 am | # | Reply

    Shoot, so what kind of cancer will cancer give you?

  13. Ken
    Ken
    March 15, 2012, 9:11 am | # | Reply

    This is my favorite Bug comic ever. Not on chuckle count, but on shear “My GOD man, you freakin SAID IT!”

  14. J-L
    J-L
    March 15, 2012, 10:20 am | # | Reply

    Awesome cartoon today! It even reads well as a stand-up comedy routine.

  15. thecheckeredman
    thecheckeredman
    March 15, 2012, 11:48 am | # | Reply

    Plutoniumacuzzi is one of the greatest inventions ever!

  16. Frances
    Frances
    March 15, 2012, 12:28 pm | # | Reply

    Life. It’ll kill ya.

    • Lone
      Lone
      April 8, 2012, 8:48 am | # | Reply

      And then you’ll be dead.

  17. NeonF1sh
    NeonF1sh
    March 15, 2012, 1:59 pm | # | Reply

    Does the title of the comic have anything to do with the ‘tropic of cancer’? ._.

  18. lord akoroth
    lord akoroth
    March 15, 2012, 2:15 pm | # | Reply

    I have always suspected this!!!!!! (good to know the knowledge is spreading…)

  19. bunivasal
    bunivasal
    March 15, 2012, 3:18 pm | # | Reply

    Fun fact: there was a time when people would swim in irradiated water for their health. That time was the twenties.

    • Shannon Love
      Shannon Love
      March 26, 2013, 7:59 pm | # | Reply

      In the early 1950s, they had “Uranium Parlors” where people would go to sit on piles of uranium ore for their health. In the 20s and 30s, various radium containing products where all the rage.

      Some people died of radiation poisoning but there was never an identified uptick in cancers. Probably because radiation has a threshold effect i.e. you have to get above a certain level of exposure before you get any significant risk.

  20. soapyillusion
    soapyillusion
    March 15, 2012, 3:39 pm | # | Reply

    the colouring in cola has been found to cause cancer a wile ago i believe.

  21. Bender
    Bender
    March 15, 2012, 3:42 pm | # | Reply

    I’m surprised nobody caught this…

    In the 4th panel, it’s spelled “gallivanting.”

    • Adam
      Adam
      March 15, 2012, 10:24 pm | # | Reply

      It can be spelled both ways.

      http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/galavant

  22. RG2Cents
    RG2Cents
    March 15, 2012, 8:26 pm | # | Reply

    no… wait… you mean…

    EEEEEEEEEE-YIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!! ‘door slam’

    • RG2Cents
      RG2Cents
      March 15, 2012, 8:27 pm | # | Reply

      …so begins the widespread panic…

  23. Jen
    Jen
    March 17, 2012, 2:49 pm | # | Reply

    The next link isn’t working, and this is no longer the most recent comic.

    • Jen
      Jen
      March 17, 2012, 2:49 pm | # | Reply

      Okay, so now it is – I swear it wasn’t a minute ago…

  24. r0b3rt
    r0b3rt
    November 27, 2012, 3:21 pm | # | Reply

    Everything causes cancer, yes. Don’t worry, though, because everything cures cancer as well.

  25. Shannon Love
    Shannon Love
    March 26, 2013, 8:05 pm | # | Reply

    Your on the mark more than you now. It is living that causes cancer.

    Cancer isn’t like an injury or infection, its the result of the innate pressure of natural selection causing cells to, in William Gibson’s memorable phrasing, “follow the quixotic path of individual careers.” Our cellular biochemistry spends a great deal of time and effort preventing cells from going rouge but eventually they always fail.

    We seldom appreciate it but dying of cancer is an historical luxury. In the past,statistically, you had to survive a lot of other lethal diseases and injuries to live long enough to get cancer.

  26. Izzie
    Izzie
    February 8, 2014, 5:59 pm | # | Reply

    Why not power the planet with all that panic?

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