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Totally Off-Scripture

Totally Off-Scripture

by Adam on January 17, 2014 at 12:00 am
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Discussion (27) ¬

  1. Mortal Anonymous
    Mortal Anonymous
    January 17, 2014, 1:23 am | # | Reply

    That 2nd panel…Friends say he’s tryin’ too hard, and he’s not quite hip, but in his own mind he’s the, he’s the dopest trip.

    • loltock
      loltock
      January 17, 2014, 1:49 am | # | Reply

      And all the girlies say he’s pretty fly for a pious guy.

    • verTigO
      verTigO
      January 17, 2014, 2:18 am | # | Reply

      But they didn’t have ice cubes…

      • Iforwhat
        Iforwhat
        January 17, 2014, 6:59 am | # | Reply

        …so he bought vanilla ice.

    • Iforwhat
      Iforwhat
      January 17, 2014, 6:58 am | # | Reply

      Impressive.
      Give it to me baby…AH Ha AH Ha.
      I’d tip my hat if I were wearing one.

    • BugFanNo1Million
      BugFanNo1Million
      January 17, 2014, 12:41 pm | # | Reply

      Fantastic!

    • MegaDaffy
      MegaDaffy
      February 24, 2016, 5:27 pm | # | Reply

      Good to see I’m not the only one that thought of that song. XD

  2. Richard
    Richard
    January 17, 2014, 3:00 am | # | Reply

    “NO! God did NOT take 2 children from each sector and make them fight to the death! For the last time, he was a LION!”

    • Adam
      Adam
      January 17, 2014, 7:42 am | # | Reply

      Ha-ha!

    • Izzie
      Izzie
      February 5, 2014, 5:16 pm | # | Reply

      Narnia reference, AND a hunger games reference? YOU SO EPIC.

  3. Nuxxy
    Nuxxy
    January 17, 2014, 6:07 am | # | Reply

    TV series are terrible. They will find 1723 scrawled on the wall and next thing you know it’s Matthew 17:23 and someone is quoting it. I suppose it would take too long if they actually had to try find a Bible.

  4. Dave Dell
    Dave Dell
    January 17, 2014, 7:10 am | # | Reply

    The Book of Mitch. I’m adding it to my version of the bible. And Jesus rebuked them saying, “Let she who is without sin come on down! You can’t fake it when you’re face to face with God.”

  5. Izzie
    Izzie
    January 17, 2014, 7:49 am | # | Reply

    An apostle… NAMED VOLDEMORT. BAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!!

  6. Jeff Clough
    Jeff Clough
    January 17, 2014, 10:06 am | # | Reply

    As someone once said, “Knowing the Bible is one thing, knowing it’s author is something else.”

    • Ol' Gui
      Ol' Gui
      January 17, 2014, 10:42 am | # | Reply

      I agree.

  7. Rev. Aaron
    Rev. Aaron
    January 17, 2014, 12:17 pm | # | Reply

    I am SO talking about Voldemort in my next sermon. Also, I totally get the synoptic gospels mixed up all the time.

    • VaguelyCreepy
      VaguelyCreepy
      January 17, 2014, 7:00 pm | # | Reply

      Dang, why couldn’t I have gone *your* church as a kid?

    • Zimriel
      Zimriel
      May 22, 2017, 9:42 pm | # | Reply

      I was just thinking this. I’m pretty sure that’s why Tatian compiled the Diatesseron, because he was tired of remembering the EXACT Greek words in whatever Gospel it was.

  8. VaguelyCreepy
    VaguelyCreepy
    January 17, 2014, 7:29 pm | # | Reply

    A Catholic priest reading Harry Potter, huh? “He Who Must Not Be Named For The Sake Of My Job Security.”

  9. Seeen
    Seeen
    January 17, 2014, 8:00 pm | # | Reply

    Heaven if I can’t come up with any good ones, I’ll still at the least make a bad one.

  10. dreadpirateusername
    dreadpirateusername
    January 17, 2014, 11:32 pm | # | Reply

    Am I wrong, or has Bug gotten a lot slimmer over the years?
    I suddenly feel the need to make an infographic describing the evolution of Bug anatomy.

    • Kathy
      Kathy
      January 19, 2014, 7:54 am | # | Reply

      He has. And his head has gotten smaller and his eyes bigger

    • Adam
      Adam
      January 19, 2014, 11:47 am | # | Reply

      I’ve fallen victim to the “cuteness curse” where your characters evolve into adorable versions of themselves.

      Jim Davis is guilty of it too.

      http://d3j5vwomefv46c.cloudfront.net/photos/large/820754902.png?1384046042

      • Rat
        Rat
        January 19, 2014, 3:25 pm | # | Reply

        Not a curse, man, not a curse. I don’t even like the old Garfield and I have some fifty Garfield books. I don’t need to stress that’s a hint, right?

  11. Kwakerjak
    Kwakerjak
    January 18, 2014, 2:04 pm | # | Reply

    I thought it was Simon Peter Pettigrew who betrayed Jesus…

  12. Codric
    Codric
    January 19, 2014, 11:03 am | # | Reply

    I just realised – if Priest Bug thinks we’re not allowed to say his name… how does Female Bug know about it?

  13. Izzie
    Izzie
    February 5, 2014, 5:17 pm | # | Reply

    One more here: Female Bug:”Mary was NOT informed she was pregnant with Jesus by a man in a police box!”

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