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Turtles for Sale or Rent

Turtles for Sale or Rent

by Adam on July 10, 2013 at 12:00 am
Chapter: comics
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Discussion (26) ¬

  1. Rhea
    Rhea
    July 10, 2013, 12:17 am | # | Reply

    Aw, come on. Leave the turtles where they are. Unless they’re in the middle of a street or parking lot– then move them off to the side, somewhere safer.

    • gr3y
      gr3y
      July 10, 2013, 8:04 am | # | Reply

      LoL I remember an other webcomic, where he tried to save the turtle from the street by throwing it into a river…
      turtles are better of without us I think! 🙂

      • ASP
        ASP
        July 10, 2013, 3:26 pm | # | Reply

        Turtles can swim, you know.

    • Ausar
      Ausar
      January 19, 2016, 10:11 pm | # | Reply

      So
      Where do you live?

  2. AMooseInAHummer
    AMooseInAHummer
    July 10, 2013, 12:18 am | # | Reply

    I happen to own a turtle, and I’ll have you know that the last one isn’t true. When I was about 5 I let the thing out of its pen, and the damn thing sped away, and went missing for almost 3 weeks. Then, it suddenly crawled into the kitchen when we were eating dinner one day. Dude is fast as hell.

  3. V1c
    V1c
    July 10, 2013, 1:16 am | # | Reply

    Ditto Rhea
    Also remember that if you decide to give a little help to get them off the way, help them go forward to wherever they pointing….. They might be slow but they know where they are going.

  4. tudza
    tudza
    July 10, 2013, 1:49 am | # | Reply

    Ah, I see a bug martini

    • Laurat81
      Laurat81
      July 10, 2013, 8:09 am | # | Reply

      I see what you did there lol

    • Splith
      Splith
      July 10, 2013, 9:09 am | # | Reply

      hoho! But seriously Bug is great

  5. Doomboy911
    Doomboy911
    July 10, 2013, 2:15 am | # | Reply

    Snapping turtles man, they ain’t called that for their love of west side story.

    By the way I had a turtle friggin’ speed demon, had some disease that meant I had to wash my hands or hold it with big gloves. I called him Knock Knock and loved him. I still remember you buddy we had a good three days. He died of the disease and he somehow survived a picnic table collapsing with me. Good times.

    • ASP
      ASP
      July 10, 2013, 3:29 pm | # | Reply

      Just approach the snapper from behind and keep his face away from you when holding it 😀 (note, I have never done this and can totally imagine why this is still a bad idea)

  6. Mortal Anonymous
    Mortal Anonymous
    July 10, 2013, 2:33 am | # | Reply

    Interesting factoid: your average turtle can cross a football field in about 7 minutes. Should they care to, of course. = P

    • snark^
      snark^
      July 10, 2013, 7:52 am | # | Reply

      That’s faster than [insert hometown-team’s wide receiver here], shirley?

  7. Chuck Chuckerson
    Chuck Chuckerson
    July 10, 2013, 4:12 am | # | Reply

    Newts to let, fifty cents.

    • Adam
      Adam
      July 10, 2013, 7:20 am | # | Reply

      Ha-ha! Nicely done.

  8. Thorbjørn
    Thorbjørn
    July 10, 2013, 5:34 am | # | Reply

    I love the 2nd panel – is it bemusement or resentment eminating from the turtle’s eyes?

  9. TheCuda
    TheCuda
    July 10, 2013, 7:14 am | # | Reply

    A friend of mine owns 3 turtles and she told me that they’re fast as hell. Let them walk on the floor and they’ll run away like freakin’ Nascars.

  10. Izzie
    Izzie
    July 10, 2013, 7:27 am | # | Reply

    My friend’s turtle is super fast. Not being a hater, but it’s true. And watch out for snapping turtles!

  11. Jeff Clough
    Jeff Clough
    July 10, 2013, 8:24 am | # | Reply

    Love this one! But hey, the title’s all wonky and not showing up (at least on the comments page). I assume from the Newt comment above it’s “Turtles for Sale or Rent”?

    • Jeff Clough
      Jeff Clough
      July 10, 2013, 8:25 am | # | Reply

      Great. Now it’s back. I feel the fool, here . . .

  12. renlefae
    renlefae
    July 10, 2013, 9:14 am | # | Reply

    I had a red ear boxing turtle that we picked up on the road around my house one day. I got to keep it as a pet for several months before my parents made me take it to a pond by the house and release him. It was fun having a pet turtle and he was way cooler than my sister’s hermit crab.

  13. LanceThruster
    LanceThruster
    July 10, 2013, 10:29 am | # | Reply

    . “You’re in a desert, walking along in the sand, when all of a sudden…” (Holden)
    “Is this the test now?” (Leon)
    “Yes! You’re in a desert and you’re walking along in the sand and all of a sudden you look down and…” (Holden)
    “What one?” (Leon)
    “What?” (Holden)
    “What desert?” (Leon)
    “It doesn’t make any difference what desert. It’s completely hypothetical!” (Holden)
    “Well how come I’be there?” (Leon)
    “Maybe you’re fed up, maybe you wanna be by yourself. Who knows? You look down and you see a tortoise, Leon. It’s crawling towards you.” (Holden)
    “A tortoise? What’s that?” (Leon)
    “You know what a turtle is? Same thing.” (Holden)
    “I’ve never seen a turtle but I understand what you mean.” (Leon)
    “You reach down and you flip the tortoise over on its back, Leon.” (Holden)
    “Do you make up these questions, Mr Holden? Or do they write them down for you?” (Leon)
    “The turtoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs, trying to turn itself over but it can’t, not without for your help. But you’re not helping.” (Holden)
    “What do you mean I’m not helping!” (Leon)
    “I mean you’re not helping. Why is that Leon? (tense silence) They’re just questions, Leon. In answer to your query, they’re written down for me. It’s a test, designed to provoke an emotional response. Shall we continue? Describe in single words only the good things that come into your mind about your mother.” (Holden)
    “My mother? Let me tell you about my mother!” (Leon)

  14. Rachtacular
    Rachtacular
    July 10, 2013, 11:05 am | # | Reply

    I LOVE that you used “bindle”! I always feel like I’m the only person who knows the proper name for the “hobo stick.” We’re like twinsies!

  15. Russell Duffer
    Russell Duffer
    July 10, 2013, 3:21 pm | # | Reply

    Yay! Finished the archive today (started June 7) so now may get something done in a day rather than just reading Bug Martini .

    But odd I’d be so slow, and finish on a day with a turtle joke. Maybe I need to get out of my shell more.

  16. eddddd the mad genius
    eddddd the mad genius
    July 10, 2013, 4:23 pm | # | Reply

    You know i have to point this out: thats a tortoise, not a turtle

  17. Michael@voxboxcomics.com
    Michael@voxboxcomics.com
    July 10, 2013, 5:23 pm | # | Reply

    Smart to pack power pellets.

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