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Under Pressure

Under Pressure

by Adam on February 25, 2014 at 12:00 am
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Discussion (30) ¬

  1. Rhea
    Rhea
    February 25, 2014, 12:11 am | # | Reply

    Carpe the heck out of your diem. Love it.

    My BP always registers too high because when someone puts a cuff on my arm and pumps it up until my fingers feel like they’re going to blow off, my blood pressure goes up– funny thing.

    • Jack
      Jack
      February 26, 2014, 2:05 pm | # | Reply

      Sounds like you just have high blood pressure, why would the soul form of measuring something bias it, and how could you tell if it did.

  2. Ultimate Yes America 6-5000: The Movie
    Ultimate Yes America 6-5000: The Movie
    February 25, 2014, 12:58 am | # | Reply

    I went to someone’s funeral today. I didn’t know her, I just felt like going to a funeral.

    • Pinkie D. Pyrite
      Pinkie D. Pyrite
      February 25, 2014, 6:39 am | # | Reply

      Was there food?

      • Ultimate Yes America 6-5000: The Movie
        Ultimate Yes America 6-5000: The Movie
        February 25, 2014, 12:32 pm | # | Reply

        Yeah. They had brownies. I tried reading out loud passages from the Necronomicon, to see if she would get up out of her casket and start killing the people I didn’t like. It didn’t work.

        • bd
          bd
          February 26, 2014, 11:00 pm | # | Reply

          Next time try Reginald Scot’s Prayer for Binding and Commanding Angelse Throwne Downe From Heaven (cf., Davidson, A Dictionary of Angels, p. 361).

          • Chris Rivan
            Chris Rivan
            March 14, 2018, 11:05 pm | #

            Y’all need Jayzuz.

        • Totally Not The Nercromancer From Two Doors Down
          Totally Not The Nercromancer From Two Doors Down
          January 16, 2019, 7:55 pm | # | Reply

          Dude, where can you get the Nerconomicon? I’ve been looking for ages!

  3. Thorbjørn
    Thorbjørn
    February 25, 2014, 2:33 am | # | Reply

    I totally agree with the ‘Why bother making it worse by obsessing over it?’-school of thought.

    And, ahem, BUGS DO NOT HAVE HIGH PRESSURE CIRCULATORY SYSTEMS!

    They have something more like an aquarium hooked up to a system of tubes with up to several small pumps hooked up in between. The blood just dumps into the aquarium and is then redistributed again.

    • SomeGuy
      SomeGuy
      February 25, 2014, 4:44 am | # | Reply

      If you look closely, there are a few more anatomical inaccuracies to be found.

      • Shadlyn Wolfe
        Shadlyn Wolfe
        February 25, 2014, 5:01 am | # | Reply

        I have no idea what you are talking about. Why, I just went into my yard and every insect I saw had a tiny little god-like beard.

        • Boltzy
          Boltzy
          February 26, 2014, 9:00 am | # | Reply

          Every insect is god in your backyard?

      • Thorbjørn
        Thorbjørn
        February 25, 2014, 5:49 am | # | Reply

        I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to educate you against your will.

        • SomeGuy
          SomeGuy
          February 25, 2014, 6:49 am | # | Reply

          joke
          verb (used without object), joked, jok·ing.
          7. to say something in fun or teasing rather than in earnest; be facetious: He didn’t really mean it, he was only joking.

    • wetcorps
      wetcorps
      February 25, 2014, 6:15 am | # | Reply

      You might have noticed, by now, that the comic’s name could be “human” if only you removed their antennas.

    • Pinkie D. Pyrite
      Pinkie D. Pyrite
      February 25, 2014, 6:40 am | # | Reply

      A similar discussion was had yesterday in regards to the existence spider people. They’re really just humans with antennae.

  4. DaveDell
    DaveDell
    February 25, 2014, 6:24 am | # | Reply

    That’d make a (good?) pick up line. Hey honey, how’d you like me to Carpe the Heck out of your Diem… Probably get a puzzled look and then a hearty slap.

  5. Izzie
    Izzie
    February 25, 2014, 7:58 am | # | Reply

    Ermergerd, THAT IS FUNNYYYYYYYY XD

  6. Jesse
    Jesse
    February 25, 2014, 8:40 am | # | Reply

    I didn’t find this funny, though it has nothing to do with you. It’s just that my father has high blood pressure and I’m worried that he might die. It’s a personal reason.

  7. Gene
    Gene
    February 25, 2014, 9:32 am | # | Reply

    As an experiment, I notice the nurses/doctors take what I say over what the blood pressure cuff says. It’ll say I’m fine, but If I tell them I have high/low blood pressure, they panic. I have really stupid doctors and I love torturing idiots.

    • BugFanNo1Million
      BugFanNo1Million
      February 25, 2014, 11:44 am | # | Reply

      …maybe you should find some new doctors then

      • Robin
        Robin
        February 26, 2014, 3:47 am | # | Reply

        But then he couldn’t torture them to feel good and keep his blood pressure at the right level!

    • Jack
      Jack
      February 26, 2014, 2:13 pm | # | Reply

      Blood pressure varies, what the cuff says only applies then, not later, not before, if you say you have something then they have to assume you know more about you than the momentary instruments.

  8. Tom Racine
    Tom Racine
    February 25, 2014, 10:46 am | # | Reply

    I am demanding a Bug shirt that has a picture of him with big letters saying “Carpe the heck out of your Diem!”

    • Rhea
      Rhea
      February 25, 2014, 11:45 am | # | Reply

      Sounds good to me too.

    • AlixeTiir
      AlixeTiir
      February 25, 2014, 12:20 pm | # | Reply

      i agree

    • Adam
      Adam
      February 25, 2014, 12:25 pm | # | Reply

      That’s not a bad idea.

    • Robin
      Robin
      February 26, 2014, 3:48 am | # | Reply

      I concur.

    • Chelle
      Chelle
      February 26, 2014, 6:00 am | # | Reply

      I would buy one!

  9. Jeff Clough
    Jeff Clough
    February 25, 2014, 1:04 pm | # | Reply

    I love the idea of a guy hitting on a girl in a bar by saying “How’s ’bout I Carpe the HECK out of your Diem”. Well done Dave Dell!

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