I too thought this at one time, so I asked someone at my church, this is eons ago I might add. They responded “no no, they shoot out the top of your head, and the reason we bow our heads is to give it the right angle to leave Earth’s atmosphere!” Still not sure if he was serious or patronizing a child…
Jehovah and the secretary both tithe 10% of income.
However, Jehovah then gets his tithe back as income, which he tithes 10% of, which he gets back as income, which he then tithes 10%…. Jehovah, being infinite, does infinite paperwork.
Prayers are composed of particles, and simultaneously take all possible paths. The answer to your prayers is the product of the square of all possible paths divided by the probability that your ex has prayed for the exactly the opposite thing just for spite.
Actually, according to quantum physics, since we are not actually measuring where the prayers are until they reach Heaven, until they reach heaven, they are in all possible locations simultaneously, one of which will eventually be Heaven. Seriously, I don’t make this kind of stuff up.
I’ve wondered this same thing. If God lives in the ceiling, why am I praying to the floor where the bodies are hidden? Maybe the dirt acts as a reflector, like how the moon reflects back the anti-vampire rays at night.
Historically, subordinates did not look their superiors in the face when talking. Depending on culture and circumstance this could take the form of a slight down glance all the way down to the chinese kowtow, sprawled out face down on the ground. The position of prayer is a position of subordination to God the superior.
The “look at me when I’m talking to you” started in America and probably originated with the need to pass on increasingly complex technical information. Superiors needed to see subordinates faces to determine if they understood the instructions. Today we consider a mark of disrespect for a subordinate not to meet a superior’s eye.
Actually most churches wax their floors with a special prayer-reflective coating. It helps to scatter the prayer waves a bit, as one aimed in just the right spot could burn out the receiver in heaven.
I too thought this at one time, so I asked someone at my church, this is eons ago I might add. They responded “no no, they shoot out the top of your head, and the reason we bow our heads is to give it the right angle to leave Earth’s atmosphere!” Still not sure if he was serious or patronizing a child…
Your church must’ve been awesome, with scientists as clergy.
How do I make my prayers circularly polarized?
For that, you need a quarter-wave collection plate.
Hah! I was just thinking about leaving a comment with the exact same explanation.
What’s the escape velocity of a prayer?
…and, does re-entry burn it up?!
does it matter how ‘hard’ you pray?
Hmm, maybe the prayers are launched from our back, with our bowed head as a ramp?
God is omnipresent, so it doesn’t matter which “direction” you pray.
In which case the question becomes
“So why does it matter WHERE we are when we pray to him?”
i.e. “Why go to a church?”
(Yes, I know that The Church is the community of the faithful, not the building. But a child wouldn’t.)
in that case, why pray at all? If he is everywhere, he surely is in your head as well
Oh my… If he’s rumbling around in there, I’m surely headed for a hot place. Or a ‘cool’ place if Hades is James Woods.
You want to be granted something you’re too lazy to even articulate?
I wonder if bug antennae would be effective prayer conductors? They might possibly broadcast the rays skyward more effectively.
Do you imagine things differently when you stand on your head?
You wanna know the real answer, or are you just asking?
HAHAHAHA! It’s funny because there is no real answer!
No pastordan, you can’t answer, you’re on a smoking break!
Puff, puff…
God has a secretary… AWESOME!
Does she pay more in taxes than Jehovah?
Jehovah and the secretary both tithe 10% of income.
However, Jehovah then gets his tithe back as income, which he tithes 10% of, which he gets back as income, which he then tithes 10%…. Jehovah, being infinite, does infinite paperwork.
He delegates most of it to his secretary.
That’s an awesome single-horned bug.
Prayers are composed of particles, and simultaneously take all possible paths. The answer to your prayers is the product of the square of all possible paths divided by the probability that your ex has prayed for the exactly the opposite thing just for spite.
Specifically, they’re pions, the gauge boson for piety.
If prayers are particles then they have weight.
How many prayers would it take to smoosh an ex?
Actually, according to quantum physics, since we are not actually measuring where the prayers are until they reach Heaven, until they reach heaven, they are in all possible locations simultaneously, one of which will eventually be Heaven. Seriously, I don’t make this kind of stuff up.
A unicorn bug died and went to hell !!
I’ve wondered this same thing. If God lives in the ceiling, why am I praying to the floor where the bodies are hidden? Maybe the dirt acts as a reflector, like how the moon reflects back the anti-vampire rays at night.
Historically, subordinates did not look their superiors in the face when talking. Depending on culture and circumstance this could take the form of a slight down glance all the way down to the chinese kowtow, sprawled out face down on the ground. The position of prayer is a position of subordination to God the superior.
The “look at me when I’m talking to you” started in America and probably originated with the need to pass on increasingly complex technical information. Superiors needed to see subordinates faces to determine if they understood the instructions. Today we consider a mark of disrespect for a subordinate not to meet a superior’s eye.
Maybe the prayer is launched on our back, and our head is a ramp to heaven?
Actually most churches wax their floors with a special prayer-reflective coating. It helps to scatter the prayer waves a bit, as one aimed in just the right spot could burn out the receiver in heaven.