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Why Are You Blessin’ Yourself?

Why Are You Blessin’ Yourself?

by Adam on May 22, 2013 at 12:00 am
Chapter: comics
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Discussion (27) ¬

  1. AnimechaX
    AnimechaX
    May 22, 2013, 12:24 am | # | Reply

    Now, I’m not one for blasphemy, but that last panel had me in stitches

    • VaguelyCreepy
      VaguelyCreepy
      May 23, 2013, 8:36 pm | # | Reply

      Thank you, Morgan Freeman.

  2. Rena
    Rena
    May 22, 2013, 12:30 am | # | Reply

    Prank prayers, that’s one of the funniest ideas I’ve heard in ages.

  3. Someone
    Someone
    May 22, 2013, 2:05 am | # | Reply

    you get the answer: “no, don’t need a fridge, things are pretty cool up here.”

    • khade
      khade
      May 22, 2013, 2:51 am | # | Reply

      “Unlike where I suspect you’ll be.”

      • Ol' Gui
        Ol' Gui
        May 22, 2013, 8:26 am | # | Reply

        That is certainly a nice way of phrasing the answer. Messing with the G-d of the Old Testement is never a good idea. How many Amelekites do you know?

        • Geekoid
          Geekoid
          May 22, 2013, 3:11 pm | # | Reply

          How many Gods have you met?

          • Ol' Gui
            Ol' Gui
            May 22, 2013, 7:31 pm | #

            Just the One.

          • Mahnarch
            Mahnarch
            May 25, 2013, 2:22 am | #

            “Are you a God?”
            “No.”
            “Then,,,, DIIEEE!!!”

  4. tymime
    tymime
    May 22, 2013, 3:38 am | # | Reply

    Well, those guys have certainly damned themselves…

  5. Dave Dell
    Dave Dell
    May 22, 2013, 8:04 am | # | Reply

    I love Zelazny’s Agnostics Prayer from ‘Creatures of Light and Darkness’

    Insofar as I may be heard by anything, which may or may not care what I say, I ask, if it matters, that you be forgiven for anything you may have done or failed to do which requires forgiveness. Conversely, if not forgiveness but something else may be required to insure any possible benefit for which you may be eligible after the destruction of your body, I ask that this, whatever it may be, be granted or withheld, as the case may be, in such a manner as to insure your receiving said benefit. I ask this in my capacity as your elected intermediary between yourself and that which may not be yourself, but which may have an interest in the matter of your receiving as much as it is possible for you to receive of this thing, and which may in some way be influenced by this ceremony. Amen

    • Ol' Gui
      Ol' Gui
      May 22, 2013, 8:49 am | # | Reply

      ….let him ask in trust, doubting nothing, for the doubter is like a wave in the sea being tossed and driven by the wind. Indeed that person should not think that he will receive anything from the Lord, because he is double-minded, unstable in all his ways.

      That weasel worded prayer must have been brewed up by someone who would be a good candidate for Politics. Wasn’t there a science fiction story were the people spoke double-speak and said nothing? 1984 or Brave New World?

      • Dave Dell
        Dave Dell
        May 22, 2013, 10:38 am | # | Reply

        I’d recommend you read the book for context.

        • Ol' Gui
          Ol' Gui
          May 22, 2013, 7:34 pm | # | Reply

          My point was – a lot of blah blah and nothing is said, just weasel words.

          • mac
            mac
            May 24, 2013, 10:46 am | #

            But books that can’t keep their story straight chapter-to-chapter and book-to-book are authoritative…
            His point was – you need context to get it.

          • Fanta
            Fanta
            December 14, 2017, 9:20 am | #

            Congratulations, you ducked under the joke!

    • VaguelyCreepy
      VaguelyCreepy
      May 23, 2013, 8:41 pm | # | Reply

      As an Agnostic and fan of obfuscating verbosity, I thoroughly enjoy this prayer, and will check out the book it came from when the chance arises. Thanks for the lead!

  6. AntmanG93
    AntmanG93
    May 22, 2013, 8:59 am | # | Reply

    Could this be in any way part of a theme week (or a shortened one)
    Each strip could start with “How to ______ God”

  7. Wingspin
    Wingspin
    May 22, 2013, 10:09 am | # | Reply

    It’s all fun and games until somebody gets “SMITED” …smote …smitten. Geez, I hate it when grammar ruins the pun.

  8. James Anderson
    James Anderson
    May 22, 2013, 10:15 am | # | Reply

    Love that title.

    • Adam
      Adam
      May 22, 2013, 12:09 pm | # | Reply

      Cool! I was worried that folks wouldn’t get the joke.

      • Treesong
        Treesong
        June 8, 2013, 6:32 pm | # | Reply

        I don’t get it. I thought it might be an accusation of theomasturbation and my sister thought it might be the bullies trying to ward off smiting, but I don’t love either answer.

        • VaguelyCreepy
          VaguelyCreepy
          June 11, 2013, 12:22 am | # | Reply

          It’s like saying “why you hittin’ yourself?” when you’re slapping someone with their own hand.

  9. DressesAreStupid
    DressesAreStupid
    May 22, 2013, 11:07 am | # | Reply

    The last panel made me take a ride in a Roflcopter.

    Prank prayers seem pretty funny. Keep this hilariousness coming, this is my new best way of entertainment.

  10. Rhea
    Rhea
    May 22, 2013, 1:08 pm | # | Reply

    Next you can ask God if he has Prince Albert in a can.

    I’m reminded of an atheist character in one of Terry Pratchett’s books whose nickname is “Charcoal” or something similar– “They needn’t think they’ll get me to believe in them by smiting me all the time!”

  11. LanceThruster
    LanceThruster
    May 22, 2013, 4:11 pm | # | Reply

    Howard Stern would catch a lot of flak when he fervently mock-prayed for one of his enemies to get cancer. I laughed at the ridiculousness of it picturing God as some overworked bureaucrat mistakenly stamping ‘APPROVED’ on the prayer petition.

    One comic was asked how he would feel if he wished somebody would die a horrible death and they did. Wouldn’t he feel bad then? He said, “Are you kidding? I’d feel great knowing I could direct this ultimate power to do my bidding.”

  12. Hjörtur Hjartarson
    Hjörtur Hjartarson
    May 22, 2013, 8:32 pm | # | Reply

    It’s been so long since I check out your comic page. You have a great sense of humor! Keep up the good work.

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