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Gluteus Minimus

Gluteus Minimus

by Adam on December 12, 2013 at 12:00 am
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Discussion (62) ¬

  1. Korbl
    Korbl
    December 12, 2013, 12:21 am | # | Reply

    It’s real, it’s just not as bad as they make it out to be. It’s just a protein that some people have sensitivities to or are outright endangered by. It’s really dumb.

    • Mr. Elkins
      Mr. Elkins
      December 12, 2013, 7:11 am | # | Reply

      What’s truly bad about gluten is the long term effects. Those with celiac disease become incredibly susceptible to developing various forms of cancer including non-hodgkins lymphoma when exposed to gluten. It is “as bad as they say” and often times worse, actually, but only for those with a gluten-intolerance linked gene or with a developed case of celiac disease.

      • Mahnarch
        Mahnarch
        December 12, 2013, 12:01 pm | # | Reply

        Agreed. And a sufferer.

        If I eat wheat based/gluten stuff I get severe cramps and have actually [how to put this delicately…] I could have used a hover toilet from yesterdays comic to follow me around.

        I’ve already had two separate colo-rectal surgeries to fix ruptures from gluten-based events.

        And, I’m only 36.

  2. dana.L
    dana.L
    December 12, 2013, 12:56 am | # | Reply

    I know of a girl for whom gluten is deadly
    That’s a pity. Gluten-free food is disgusting

    • Pinkie D. Pyrite
      Pinkie D. Pyrite
      December 12, 2013, 8:58 am | # | Reply

      Not if you know what you’re doing.

      Unfortunately, no one does.

    • katili
      katili
      December 12, 2013, 10:10 am | # | Reply

      Processed gluten-free is terrible, yes. I was gluten-free for a little while (along with a lot of other things-free) and only ate home cooked meals, and everything I ate was amazing 🙂

  3. SRSteue
    SRSteue
    December 12, 2013, 1:07 am | # | Reply

    The title alone made me giggle, but then you mentioned tribble free food and then I lost it. Good job, keep up the awesome work!

  4. Thorbjørn
    Thorbjørn
    December 12, 2013, 1:24 am | # | Reply

    CAUTION: Should not be eaten from a deflector dish

  5. tudza
    tudza
    December 12, 2013, 1:52 am | # | Reply

    A gluten for punishment.

    • Bjer
      Bjer
      December 12, 2013, 12:12 pm | # | Reply

      The WINNAH!!

  6. Hello
    Hello
    December 12, 2013, 5:07 am | # | Reply

    Some people are allergic to gluten, so the marking on the boxes were just to let them know if they could eat it. Then other people saw “no gluten!” and figured that it was removed because it was unhealthy for everyone. People are really stupid sometimes.

  7. Nullomodo
    Nullomodo
    December 12, 2013, 6:18 am | # | Reply

    I wish it wasn’t real – I hate having to eat Gluten Free – but it is either that or end up in hospital having my intestines removed…

    • Mahnarch
      Mahnarch
      December 12, 2013, 12:03 pm | # | Reply

      Fist bump!

  8. Saskfan
    Saskfan
    December 12, 2013, 6:33 am | # | Reply

    “How much Tribble?” “Three. Rather a lot, really”

    • Pinkie D. Pyrite
      Pinkie D. Pyrite
      December 12, 2013, 8:42 am | # | Reply

      “I swear, there was only one!”
      “He’s eating the contents of the box.”

  9. Bob in Nashville
    Bob in Nashville
    December 12, 2013, 6:44 am | # | Reply

    It only had a little tribble when it left the plant, but by the time it leaves the store…

  10. Vicky Pierce
    Vicky Pierce
    December 12, 2013, 7:11 am | # | Reply

    Gonna be a buzzkill here. Celiac disease (acute reaction to gluten) is not made up but is deadly real. There are lots of gluten-free foods that are delicious, and you’ll find them in the produce department rather than the gluten-free shelves.

  11. E.T. the Eccentric Type
    E.T. the Eccentric Type
    December 12, 2013, 7:12 am | # | Reply

    You should really have saved “Gluteus Minimus” for one of your many strip ideas involving butts.

    • Adam
      Adam
      December 12, 2013, 9:35 am | # | Reply

      Ha-ha! I actually thought about that. Eventually I’ll use up all the good titles and subsequent butt-related strips will just be called Butt Joke 001, Butt Joke 002, etc…

      • Mahnarch
        Mahnarch
        December 12, 2013, 12:05 pm | # | Reply

        Or, unrelated titles like; “On the edge of serenity.”

    • Rat
      Rat
      December 15, 2013, 9:20 am | # | Reply

      Adam already used that, just with the maximus: https://www.bugmartini.com/comic/no-ifs-ands-or-butts/ …

      Looking forward to enumerated comics anyway. I’m sure there’s plenty of funny numbers.

  12. Izzie
    Izzie
    December 12, 2013, 7:47 am | # | Reply

    Okay, I know what I said 2 days ago, but that one’s FUNNY.

  13. Dave Dell
    Dave Dell
    December 12, 2013, 8:29 am | # | Reply

    First they came for the sugar but I said nothing because I mixed my Cola’s with rum so who could tell? Then they came for the fat but I didn’t object because, well…, the rum…

    Gluten? Do bar peanuts have Gluten?

    • Mahnarch
      Mahnarch
      December 12, 2013, 12:06 pm | # | Reply

      Then they came for the rum and I said nothing… because I was passed out on the floor… 🙂

  14. Pinkie D. Pyrite
    Pinkie D. Pyrite
    December 12, 2013, 8:40 am | # | Reply

    Roasted Tribble is delicious.

    • Ol' Gui
      Ol' Gui
      December 12, 2013, 9:29 am | # | Reply

      So were Shmoos.

      • Pinkie D. Pyrite
        Pinkie D. Pyrite
        December 12, 2013, 9:46 am | # | Reply

        A healthier alternative to Smurf.

  15. Ol' Gui
    Ol' Gui
    December 12, 2013, 9:32 am | # | Reply

    Some times they try to add stuff. It the late 1900’s the big deal was added fiber. Some bread companies added cellulose ( wood fibers ) and passed it off as added healthy fiber. Great if you were a termite.

    • jack
      jack
      December 13, 2013, 11:11 am | # | Reply

      Cellulose IS dietary fiber, its undigestability helpa things slip right out of you,

  16. CFsoftie
    CFsoftie
    December 12, 2013, 10:06 am | # | Reply

    Coeliac disease – the worst consequence of gluten intolerance – is bad. As a teenager my school used to take us to help entertain kids on a long-stay neurology ward. There was quite a mix, such as a kid with severe, untreated hydrocephalus (his head was enormous), several with brain-damage because of carbon-monoxide poisoning …

    … and one kid who had suffered brain damage as the result of malnutrition caused by coeliac disease that wasn’t diagnosed until too late. He was like a cheerful, hyperactive monkey – no speech, lots of hoots and squeaks, and able to go round the walls of the very large ward by hanging from the picture-rail.

    Gluten is very real. Gluten intolerance is very real. Coeliac disease – the consequence of giving gluten to a person with gluten intolerance – is very, very real.

    It’s just a pity food-faddists have taken to pretending that gluten is bad for everybody, not just those who are gluten-intolerant, because it trivialises a very serious condition.

    (Having said all that, I still laughed at the comic!)

    • Pinkie D. Pyrite
      Pinkie D. Pyrite
      December 12, 2013, 10:12 am | # | Reply

      Only slightly relevant, but—what exactly /is/ gluten? Is it a necessary nutrient to those tolerant of it? If so, what purpose does it serve? If not, why is it there?

      • cm
        cm
        December 12, 2013, 11:07 am | # | Reply

        Gluten is a protein naturally found in various grains, most notably wheat (and varieties like spelt), barley, and rye. It’s what makes bread dough sticky and allows things like crusty french bread to turn out the awesome way that they do. It’s not impossible to bake with other grains, but certain kinds of bear are pretty much impossible to achieve.

        My wife loves baking, so my and my kids’ diagnoses were a bit of a blow, but she figured it out and makes incredible stuff now. Just no french bread.

        As others have said, celiac disease is super serious business for those of us that have it, so it is disappointing that it gets the wrong kind of attention in the press, reducing it to fad status. People with the disease can’t usually trust the labels, either, because there is still no standard for what “gluten-free” means. The situation is definitely improving, thankfully.

        • cm
          cm
          December 12, 2013, 11:09 am | # | Reply

          Sigh. Autocorrect failures above: bear -> bread.

        • Pinkie D. Pyrite
          Pinkie D. Pyrite
          December 12, 2013, 11:16 am | # | Reply

          Thank you very much.

          • renlefae
            renlefae
            December 12, 2013, 6:38 pm | #

            Gluten is also added to a lot of different foods as a thickening agent. So things that should not have gluten that are processed will contain gluten. Also people with Celiac’s disease have to make sure that gluten free foods are made in gluten free plants due to the fact that gluten becomes airborne really easily. A good friend of mine cannot even walk down a baking aisle without getting stopped up.

  17. Ibid
    Ibid
    December 12, 2013, 11:06 am | # | Reply

    This beef is 100% dolphin safe.

  18. placeholder
    placeholder
    December 12, 2013, 11:24 am | # | Reply

    Okay, I’m glad Bug commented on this. Not to say people with a gleuten allergy don’t have it bad but..

    when the hell did this stuff become more toxic than arsenic? Seriously. I work in a grocery store and now we have a whole frigging aisle of gleuten free stuff, and tons of stuff with gleuten free stickers. It’s like.. next you’ll see things along the lines of

    “WARNING! WAS PROCESSED IN A PLANT WHERE SOMEONE SAID GLEUTEN TWENTY YEARS AGO ON A THURSDAY!”

    • Mahnarch
      Mahnarch
      December 12, 2013, 12:11 pm | # | Reply

      Segregation to it’s own aisle makes sense, in a way.
      Aside from the fact that all foods are sealed at the plant people with peanut allergies will try to avoid the snack aisle.

  19. Echo
    Echo
    December 12, 2013, 12:07 pm | # | Reply

    My name is Gluteus Maximus Decimus Meridius, Commander of the Carb Armies of the North, General of the Fat rams and loyal servant to TRUE chip emperor, Frito Lay. Father to a trans fat, husband to a saturated fat, and I will have my snack food, in this life next.

    • ChrisP
      ChrisP
      April 10, 2014, 11:14 am | # | Reply

      The TRUE Chip Emperor of the North, Old Dutch, will one day rise up and smite Frito Lay!

    • ChrisP
      ChrisP
      April 10, 2014, 11:17 am | # | Reply

      The TRUE Chip Emperor of the North, Old Dutch, will one day rise up and smite Frito Lay!!

    • ChrisP
      ChrisP
      April 10, 2014, 11:21 am | # | Reply

      Repeated for emphasis! (Not at all an accidental double-post :))

  20. Jeff Clough
    Jeff Clough
    December 12, 2013, 12:22 pm | # | Reply

    It makes me laugh sometimes when people get so serious and feel like they have to explain how serious of a condition this really is.
    I’m sure Adam knows that gluten is real. It’s called “humor”, people. A skewed view of realities makes us giggle & snort.
    Sure, there are people who do HAVE to eat gluten free, but the way America’s marketing works is “Jump on the latest thing and beat it to death like a baby Harp Seal”. So now EVERYthing boasts being “gluten-free”, so it must be good, right? Ugh!
    Keep on keepin’ on, Adam!

    • Jeff Clough
      Jeff Clough
      December 12, 2013, 12:36 pm | # | Reply

      P. S. Tribbles really are delicious! They’re born pregnant, you know…they taste somewhat like Baby Harp Seal.

    • CFsoftie
      CFsoftie
      December 12, 2013, 1:36 pm | # | Reply

      I had this little bit of trauma stuck inside me and couldn’t resist the chance to share. One day, you will see *something* that will short-circuit your sense of humour and you will do the same thing.

      But yeah, sorry for raining on the joke!

    • Adam
      Adam
      December 12, 2013, 3:05 pm | # | Reply

      @dresdencodak had a great tweet yesterday:

      “Hey that was a funny joke, now to give it a serious technical answer.”

    • JXJ
      JXJ
      December 12, 2013, 7:07 pm | # | Reply

      Spot on, old bean.

  21. Armoless
    Armoless
    December 12, 2013, 12:54 pm | # | Reply

    I like my food with extra Gluten and the more trans-fats the better. Also.. yay tribbles!

  22. LanceThruster
    LanceThruster
    December 12, 2013, 1:51 pm | # | Reply

    I liked the Andy Rooney bit about low sugar and sodium —

    Why do they charge me more to leave something out?

  23. YourWeirdUncle
    YourWeirdUncle
    December 12, 2013, 5:27 pm | # | Reply

    Tribble-free!*

    *(processed in a facility that processes grain that was infested by tribbles)

  24. NotaSquirtle
    NotaSquirtle
    December 13, 2013, 9:06 am | # | Reply

    You kidding me? I want PURE tribble. I’m the tribble sales-person and I’m here to talk to you about an amazing deal! *Gets shot

    • jack
      jack
      December 13, 2013, 12:05 pm | # | Reply

      Tribble meat sounds delicious squirtle.

  25. jack
    jack
    December 13, 2013, 12:11 pm | # | Reply

    The whole gluten free thing doesn’t bother me. What did bother was the “No high-frutous corn-syrup” thing, do you know what it is? It’s a fancy name for sugar, has the same nutrients as it and everything. Then of course was the time they tried replace sugar with a carcinergenic artificial sweetener, sugar isn’t bad, eating a shit ton of it is, but then that applies to everyting.

    • alex
      alex
      December 24, 2013, 11:12 am | # | Reply

      No, corn syrup is just as artificial as aspartame. The problem with corn syrup isn’t that its inherently worse for you than sugar. It’s just that it is in EVERY SINGLE FOOD OBJECT OUT THERE and only exists because of massive government corn subsidies.

      There is also no evidence that any non-caloric sweetener causes health issues. Tired of that ig’nance

  26. AlixeTiir
    AlixeTiir
    December 13, 2013, 3:10 pm | # | Reply

    Gluten isn’t actually bad for you unless you’re allergic(it’s a natural component). I don’t understand why vegan foods don’t have gluten, considering that gluten is 100% vegan.

    • AlixeTiir
      AlixeTiir
      December 13, 2013, 3:10 pm | # | Reply

      *natural component of wheat.

      agh

      • alex
        alex
        December 24, 2013, 11:13 am | # | Reply

        Many Vegan products DO have gluten, its just the ones that normally don’t have gluten they slap on the gluten-free tag to increase their market share.

  27. LowEsksauuuuuuuuuu
    LowEsksauuuuuuuuuu
    December 13, 2013, 5:16 pm | # | Reply

    I had a feeling this one would get a ton of comments for being so controversial (slight sarcasm).

    I am gluten intolerant, and I felt slightly offended by the subject matter, but then the comic was just funny and then I didn’t care. 😛

    At least we know that more than 20 people read Bug now.

  28. Skip
    Skip
    December 14, 2013, 3:28 pm | # | Reply

    At least 53 people read it.
    Sooooo spread the word people.
    Being someone very familiar with gluten and gluten-free, what we all need is more laughter in the morning. And that is why we come here.

  29. aktnova
    aktnova
    December 19, 2013, 1:01 am | # | Reply

    Gluten is poison for meeeeee *cough, choke*

    …actually replace those last two words with ‘puke’ and the er…the other one.

  30. NCDIAB
    NCDIAB
    December 30, 2013, 10:35 am | # | Reply

    its real… and it is VERY painful if your allergic to it i promus. and dont you let any one tell you its not… becuase if it wasnt id be eating pizza right now :/

  31. Cactus Defender
    Cactus Defender
    November 22, 2015, 2:40 am | # | Reply

    While you’re pondering the validity of nutritional nomenclatures (sorry, couldn’t figure out how to say that in smaller words), what ever happened to vitamins F through J?

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