Star Trek transporters don’t teleport you any where. They kill you and then build a hopefully identical copy of you somewhere else. I’d prefer the knotted rope over that.
Yep. Reason #1 I never wanna end up in the Trekverse. No disintegrator/replication based site-to-site transportation for me! I’ll stick to good-old reality-folding teleportation, thank you very much. Traveling Without Moving, that’s how I roll.
I’ll try to find it (too early for Search Ninja) but there is an article about the potential dangers of teleportation technology. One interesting point is that if humans do have souls (any kind of existential aspect) how could we know that it gets transferred too? If it doesn’t, then you die the first time you use one and an exact clone with your memories takes your place.
In TNG there is an admiral that refuses to use a teleporter.
Welcome, Bill! You will of course, need to go through all the archives. This strip is right up there with Calvin & Hobbes and The Far Side. Bloom County too! One of my favorites, for sure.
When you’re going through the archives, be sure to check out the comments. They’re not always funny, but sometimes they really add to the enjoyment!
I have been a fan for I don’t know how long. I’d like to take a moment to say you have provided me with consistent laughs for ages, Monday through Friday. Thank you, Bugman.
I too just found this comic. It’s so refreshing to see something closer to newspaper comics in a webcomic.
I’ve gone through a lot of random strips and all I can say is you’ve got a great sense of humor. Keep it up Huber!
One thing that gets me about Trek’s casual use of transporter technology:
So you’ve got this machine on your ship that can convert matter into energy. Said machine has to somehow scan every molecule in the object being transported. Now, if that object is a human body, all you have to do is save a copy of the pattern in the buffer. Bam — you just cured death.
Picture it: Ensign Jones steps onto the transporter platform with the major characters. The transporter energizes. The next thing he knows, he’s stepping off the transporter, and some officer is telling him, “Ensign, you’ve just been restored from a backup copy. You were eaten by a Ravenous Bugblatter Beast*. That’s, what, third one this week?Report to the counselor.”
*Yes, I know they’re from a different sci-fi franchise. Shut up.
In Doomship, the cost for replication was so astronomical, that it was the inhibitor for anyone other than powerful government entities to be able to utilize the technology, and only for specific missions, not creating vast sums of wealth duplicating precious substances, because as we know, people consist of about $4.50 worth of chemicals and material – see: http://www.coolquiz.com/trivia/explain/docs/worth.asp
Yeah, but that’s not the original Jones – it’s a copy. Jones Prime is still dead as a door nail, and the copy would face a lifetime if existential quandary, forever wondering if he’s a fake.
At least until next week when he got eaten again. Then it’s the new copy’s problem.
Ha! I double checked the ST themed strip you reposted a couple of weeks ago and the two bugs from the first panel are the same as the Geeked bug only split into Jordie Bug and Spock (or Tuvok or those two annoying junior Vulcan bugs) Bug… :p
Last panel is essentially what a space elevator is, except without a protective vehicle with breathable air inside. Takes a lot of rope, so nobody has done it yet, also the rope has to be made of carbon nanotubes, which aren’t developed enough for this use yet.
As others have pointed out, McCoy and Barclay both objected to transporters. But I imagine most people who make it through the Academy are pretty desensitized to transporters.
For that matter, imagine how people from the 17th century would feel if we told them that we routinely get into metal contraptions that run on explosions (yes, a gasoline engine runs on carefully controlled explosions) and zoom off at 70 mph. They’d probably think that sounds pretty dangerous. Then they would burn us as heretics.
If I was a villain in the Star Trek ‘verse, I would mess with the transporter to add extra endorphins each time you used it. Can you think of a more embarrassing way for the Enterprise to be defeated than everyone onboard succumbing to transporter addiction?
But what if if it DID turn your wang inside out, then you would have to set your phasers to suicide
I think that’s a good premise for some gender bender sci-fi show. Like Space Ranma or something.
Dr. McCoy did complain about having his molecules scattered all over space.
Barclay, too. He had an actual phobia…and talked with Troi about the fact it was a common phobia. Just not one the bridge crew ever suffers from.
But that is not the point of the joke.
I can imagine transporter controller bug having a voice like Scruffy from Futurama…
as long as it doesn’t turn my colon inside out…
These roaches will live on long after there is no star date and well beyond. What are they worried about?
I could see some jokester programmer writing code that would swap your nipples… Great strip!
Swap your nipples for what– each other? Would it matter? Swap your nipples for your thumbs– that would be a problem.
LOVE that mental image.
Star Trek transporters don’t teleport you any where. They kill you and then build a hopefully identical copy of you somewhere else. I’d prefer the knotted rope over that.
Yep. Reason #1 I never wanna end up in the Trekverse. No disintegrator/replication based site-to-site transportation for me! I’ll stick to good-old reality-folding teleportation, thank you very much. Traveling Without Moving, that’s how I roll.
by that logic, you’re no longer you as soon as your heart stops.
I’ll try to find it (too early for Search Ninja) but there is an article about the potential dangers of teleportation technology. One interesting point is that if humans do have souls (any kind of existential aspect) how could we know that it gets transferred too? If it doesn’t, then you die the first time you use one and an exact clone with your memories takes your place.
In TNG there is an admiral that refuses to use a teleporter.
You don’t happen to read Cracked, by any chance? I remember an article mentioning that soul thing.
Bug with a visor and bug with pointed ears just had me rolling. Well done, sir. Well done indeed!!!
Just found this comic… It’s an instant favorite. I can’t believe you do 4 or 5 of these a week. Such quality stuff, man.
Welcome, Bill! You will of course, need to go through all the archives. This strip is right up there with Calvin & Hobbes and The Far Side. Bloom County too! One of my favorites, for sure.
When you’re going through the archives, be sure to check out the comments. They’re not always funny, but sometimes they really add to the enjoyment!
I have been a fan for I don’t know how long. I’d like to take a moment to say you have provided me with consistent laughs for ages, Monday through Friday. Thank you, Bugman.
Thanks!
lolness
Two great transporter stories (one I just saw last night and the other a fav when I first read it).
To view – Outer Limits – Think Like a Dinosaur
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Think_Like_a_Dinosaur_(The_Outer_Limits)
and to read – “Doomship” (Frederik Pohl and Jack Williamson)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_1974_Annual_World's_Best_SF
If the Enterprise is a rockin’… the ship might be under attack … or Spock is busy gettin busy
I too just found this comic. It’s so refreshing to see something closer to newspaper comics in a webcomic.
I’ve gone through a lot of random strips and all I can say is you’ve got a great sense of humor. Keep it up Huber!
One thing that gets me about Trek’s casual use of transporter technology:
So you’ve got this machine on your ship that can convert matter into energy. Said machine has to somehow scan every molecule in the object being transported. Now, if that object is a human body, all you have to do is save a copy of the pattern in the buffer. Bam — you just cured death.
Picture it: Ensign Jones steps onto the transporter platform with the major characters. The transporter energizes. The next thing he knows, he’s stepping off the transporter, and some officer is telling him, “Ensign, you’ve just been restored from a backup copy. You were eaten by a Ravenous Bugblatter Beast*. That’s, what, third one this week?Report to the counselor.”
*Yes, I know they’re from a different sci-fi franchise. Shut up.
Coulda been worse. You coulda said Bantha…
What is ‘light saber’ in Klingon?
In Doomship, the cost for replication was so astronomical, that it was the inhibitor for anyone other than powerful government entities to be able to utilize the technology, and only for specific missions, not creating vast sums of wealth duplicating precious substances, because as we know, people consist of about $4.50 worth of chemicals and material – see: http://www.coolquiz.com/trivia/explain/docs/worth.asp
Yeah, but that’s not the original Jones – it’s a copy. Jones Prime is still dead as a door nail, and the copy would face a lifetime if existential quandary, forever wondering if he’s a fake.
At least until next week when he got eaten again. Then it’s the new copy’s problem.
* a lifetime of
Does nobody remember the first ST movie, when some nameless Starfleet person died in transport?
Yeah it was a Vulcan who was going to take over Spock’s role of Science officer. I can’t remember his name though.
Ha! I double checked the ST themed strip you reposted a couple of weeks ago and the two bugs from the first panel are the same as the Geeked bug only split into Jordie Bug and Spock (or Tuvok or those two annoying junior Vulcan bugs) Bug… :p
Last panel is essentially what a space elevator is, except without a protective vehicle with breathable air inside. Takes a lot of rope, so nobody has done it yet, also the rope has to be made of carbon nanotubes, which aren’t developed enough for this use yet.
Gym class skills, activate..!
As others have pointed out, McCoy and Barclay both objected to transporters. But I imagine most people who make it through the Academy are pretty desensitized to transporters.
For that matter, imagine how people from the 17th century would feel if we told them that we routinely get into metal contraptions that run on explosions (yes, a gasoline engine runs on carefully controlled explosions) and zoom off at 70 mph. They’d probably think that sounds pretty dangerous. Then they would burn us as heretics.
Knowing you, you’ll probably be wearing red.
If I was a villain in the Star Trek ‘verse, I would mess with the transporter to add extra endorphins each time you used it. Can you think of a more embarrassing way for the Enterprise to be defeated than everyone onboard succumbing to transporter addiction?