If I had to break down the formula for my comics I’d say they consist of 20% relatable material and 80% utter nonsense. Today’s comic bucks that trend. I have experienced every panel of this strip.

What IS it with ordering pizza? My friends and I are fairly bright folks who are capable of using a telephone, possess basic math skills, and can answer a knock at the door. But when all three of these tasks are combined for the sake of pizza we act like we’re being asked to assist in a prison break a day before we’re on parole. We hem, we haw, we pray that SOMEONE ELSE will do one of these seemingly impossible tasks. And if we draw the short straw and are ordered to do one of them, we sure as hell won’t be doing the other two. How many times have you heard something like “Hey! I’m making the call so that means one of YOU will be answering the door!”

You know how in the movie Fight Club, Tyler Durden would hand out homework to his crew? That’s what I want to do with you guys right now. From now on, YOU be the one to handle all three tasks. I know this might sound crazy, but think of how differently your friends will look at you. You’ll be a damn hero! They might actually start listening to what you have to say. And oh, how they’ll lament your absence when they crave a pizza.


Friend 1: “Dude, you make the call.”

Friend 2: “No way! YOU make the call.”

Friend 1: “Dammit, (insert your name) usually handles this.”

Friend 2: “We are nothing without (insert your name).”

Friend 1: “True. We should buy (insert your name) a gift to show our appreciation.”

Friend 2: “Agreed. You call the gift store.”

Friend 1: “No way! YOU call the gift store!”


See how amazing your life could be? That could be YOUR friends bickering with each other!