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You Can Lead a Thief to Water…

You Can Lead a Thief to Water…

by Adam on September 3, 2014 at 12:00 am
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Discussion (22) ¬

  1. BugFanNo1Million
    BugFanNo1Million
    September 3, 2014, 12:27 am | # | Reply

    This is so clever and awesome.

  2. Doomboy911
    Doomboy911
    September 3, 2014, 12:58 am | # | Reply

    Steal the dead sea no one will miss it and it won’t fill up with water.

    • AckAckAck
      AckAckAck
      September 3, 2014, 9:14 pm | # | Reply

      Until it start to rot. You don’t want a rotten sea on your backyard.

  3. Rat
    Rat
    September 3, 2014, 1:09 am | # | Reply

    …but you cannot make him sink?

  4. Ultimate Yes America 6-5000: The Movie
    Ultimate Yes America 6-5000: The Movie
    September 3, 2014, 1:52 am | # | Reply

    I tried to steal an ocean once. Ended up bumping my head, causing a BP pipe to leak instead. Oops.

  5. David
    David
    September 3, 2014, 4:12 am | # | Reply

    What to expect when your Partner in Crime is Carmen Sandiego…

    • AckAckAck
      AckAckAck
      September 3, 2014, 9:16 pm | # | Reply

      While you busy stealing the sea Carmen is busy bumping ugly with Wally

      • jack
        jack
        September 4, 2014, 10:36 am | # | Reply

        and she stole a mountain as she left.

      • VaguelyCreepy
        VaguelyCreepy
        September 5, 2014, 10:21 am | # | Reply

        I hope they use protection. If those two have a kid, no one would ever find the poor tyke to take care of it.

  6. Ian Osmond
    Ian Osmond
    September 3, 2014, 6:20 am | # | Reply

    This is among the weirdest concepts you’ve come up with.

    I like it.

  7. CCross
    CCross
    September 3, 2014, 6:55 am | # | Reply

    When I was a kid, we neatly solved this problem by relying on the Seven Chinese Brothers to simultaneously swallow one ocean apiece.

    Unfortunately, two oceans have since gone walkies. Maybe you can find one stored in some dusty cupboard next to Pluto.

  8. Saskfan
    Saskfan
    September 3, 2014, 7:10 am | # | Reply

    But once you’ve stolen it, what would you do with it? It’d be hard to sell – no fence is gonna touch a whole ocean. Then there’s the possibility that the animals IN the ocean might notice and feet grumpy; not to mention one or two navies noticing the extra-low tide…

  9. Jeff Clough
    Jeff Clough
    September 3, 2014, 7:11 am | # | Reply

    Panel 3 where he’s kicking the “other” ocean away…so much win!

  10. qka
    qka
    September 3, 2014, 7:12 am | # | Reply

    Once you steal an ocean, who do you sell it to? Until you fence the stolen goods, they’re a problem.

  11. Dragon352
    Dragon352
    September 3, 2014, 10:12 am | # | Reply

    .im comfused. why would you want to steal a ocean? but whatever. this is ADAM WE ARE TALKING ABOUT

  12. Tiennos
    Tiennos
    September 3, 2014, 10:31 am | # | Reply

    Damn bugs in bathing suits.

    Now I can’t help but notice that they’re naked the rest of the time!

  13. Shannon Love
    Shannon Love
    September 3, 2014, 11:57 am | # | Reply

    “You can’t have everything in world. Where would you put it?” — Steven Wright.

    You can actually steal an ocean. You do it the same way you steal land. It’s like the magic trick were the magician makes a giant landmark disappear … he moves the audience, not the landmark.

    Ownership is defined by the ability to make decisions about the use of the owned object. When you own land, you have the recognized right to make decisions about the use of that land. Same goes for ocean. The Dutch and the English established the basis for modern international maritime law starting back circa 1600.

    As a practical matter, you own land/ocean if you exert unquestioned military control over the area and can physically blow up anyone who tries enter it without permission. If you’re better at blowing stuff up on that area of the earth, you own it. That’s what “sovereignty” means.

    So, to steal an ocean, you just leave it right were it is and, instead, you move the people off it with threats of or actual violence. Now you get to make all the decisions about the use of that ocean, including fencing it another party.

    As a benefit, you get to keep the handy pre-made storage container the ocean came in.

  14. euphgeek
    euphgeek
    September 3, 2014, 3:37 pm | # | Reply

    Not only that, but the sun keeps stealing the ocean back from you!

  15. boog
    boog
    September 3, 2014, 4:47 pm | # | Reply

    But is it wrong to steal the ocean to feed his family?

  16. Dave Dell
    Dave Dell
    September 3, 2014, 7:49 pm | # | Reply

    “You can lead a horse to water but you can’t saddle a duck.”
    Did you hear about he millionaire that left his fortune to a trust so that hookers could go to agriculture colleges? They kept flunking out. Just goes to show you that “You can lead a horticulture but you can’t make her think.”

    • Mahnarch
      Mahnarch
      September 5, 2014, 12:59 pm | # | Reply

      Ha!

  17. Mr BreaksIt
    Mr BreaksIt
    September 5, 2014, 9:53 pm | # | Reply

    Honestly, getting those damn beaches away from my house is an end in and of itself.

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